Weapons

OH LORD… I don’t even know where to start with this one. We all know I’m a yapper but this film had me stunned.  Not gonna lie though in my post-AMC sit in parking lot movie reflection I had an ✨epiphany✨ of what this movie reminded me of. So buckle up.  Dear Tangled, Your cutesy floating lanterns felt like a warm hug compared to this movie, where Aunt Gladys is basically the Grimm Brothers version of Mother Gothel on a caffeine binge. Forget a white monster, this woman has a different type of energy she’s craving.  In Tangled, Rapunzel’s hair had only enough enchantment to light up caverns and heal like 2 people. In Weapons, though? Aunt Gladys is a witch using 17 third graders like walking, zombie-ish energy bars. At least Tangled had a cute horse that didn’t try to murder your teacher.  Comparisons aside this movie was still good. Not my cup of tea… but all things considered… the story was told well, it was cinematically appealing… AND IT HAD ME CURLED IN A FETAL BALL POSITION COVERING MY EYES… so yeah I’d say it passes the vibe check.