Ana Patterson

well, I’m not a poet, i’m just a woman. Because being a woman also means being cast aside, tortured and manipulated. No one in this room understands what I’m saying. No one but my notebook… who better than my pencil? Who better than my hands? Drawing letters that will never see the light of the day. Skipping lines they would never understand. Rhyming phrases they could never contain. Because maybe i’m not a poet, I’m just a woman.

“-It’s not your fault”“-It is. I always go too far, always.” Oh God, how real this movie is, I’ve never felt so identified with a human character. That simple line reflects so well what it means to be such an intense person (like me and Julia), how it always ends up being a flaw, something you want to change, how you always feel like you’re too much, I really am, she is. We are too much, too much for a world so small, and so broken. “-Julia was disappointed in herself, she used to be really good at this” wait, is this fucking play about us? that horrible feeling of “getting lost” in modern life, that deep pain of growing up and making important decisions. the protagonist is not perfect, she is real and that makes her deeply human. Who am I? is one of the deepest questions, who am I? well, I’m Ana. But, no, I’m more than that, I’m more than a name, so, who am I? what do I like? what do I hate? what do I love? what scares me? what are my goals? what are my dreams? my objectives? I know it, I know it very well, but at the same time, I don’t know, I don’t know anything. here’s my favorite themes that the movie touched: The decisions you make and the emotional consequences they leave, one of the hardest themes to watch, because of how real it is. The fear of staying in the wrong place (with the wrong person, in the wrong job, in the wrong life) The fear that by trying to be everything, you end up being nothing. How fucking hard it is to grow up without feeling like you’re disappointing everyone. Without feeling like you’re the worst person in the world. Because if someone else is angry, she’s “a normal teenager” but if I’m in a bad mood, I ruin everything, it’s my fault, I’m the worst person in the world, if someone else cries, it’s valid, but if I cry, I’m ruining everything (like always) it’s my fault that people got mad, it’s my fault that the day fell apart, but at the same time, I’m the reason they keep going, I’m still “their cherry on top” so who am I? I’m the worst person in the world, at the same time I’m the kindest person in the world, the most intense, most sensitive, strongest, bravest, most selfish, most sensitive, most useless, the. worst. person. in. the. world. It’s not a romantic comedy, even though it has funny moments. It’s not pure drama, even though there are heartbreaking scenes. It’s more like a life story: confusing, imperfect and very real. Too real to hate it, because of how much Julia might be like me… “-Julia felt trapped all this boredom, when was life supposed to begin?”

you don’t know the meaning of trouble until a pikey steals your diamond

I have no words for what I just watched.It’s such a raw and real film, it hurt me in a way I can’t quite explain. Throughout the movie, my dad and I kept repeating, “poor kids”, “oh my God, this is painful,” but in a very different way. Somehow, the funniest scenes, the ones where they laughed, were the ones that crushed my heart the most, those were the ones that hurt the deepest. The way he lays on the corpse of the very boy he killed enough, it’s too much, it’s pure pain.At first, he couldn’t stand the sound of him dying slowly. Then he started to feel pain for him, empathy. At the end of the day, he was just a child. A teenager. My dad and I felt this ache from the very beginning, when he and his friends were so excited to go to war, because they all just wanted to make their families proud, they wanted to be heroes. Sadly, they never really thought they could die too. He arrived so full of hope, and left completely broken. I was also struck by how the film showed the reality of it all how they gradually became more indifferent to death. I don’t think I had ever seen a war film told from Germany’s point of view before. We always see it from the American or Russian perspective. This one was different, raw, and at the same time, hauntingly beautiful to watch.  And I’ll say it again:Every person who died in war, every soul who gave their life for their country, for wars that were never truly theirs, and for leaders who didn’t honor them enough, may they rest in peace. And I mean every. single. one. of. them. Thanks for your service. Thanks for sacrificing for us. For a best future. A better world. Rest in peace.