Before Sunset

isnt it funny how some movies are watched at specific moments in our lives? like, how was this finally available to stream when i’ve been trying so hard to convince myself that maybe love isn't for me?  that crash out she had in the car was uncanny cus i’ve had milder but multiple crash outs saying the same exact shit. like are these just normal thoughts u have at 32?  after every breakup, i end up spending years trying to fix myself, wondering what was so wrong with me. am I too broken? was I not enough? why do I care so deeply and why can't i let go? why does love have to be something that hurts so much for me?  i wish i could be the girl who moves on quickly. i wish i could just turn my emotions off. i wish i didn't even want love. after every nightmare hinge date, i become more closed off and infuriated at the fact that i even have to find someone. cus what do we do when we no longer rely on fate? when connection is only a swipe away. i guess we can try to convince ourselves that love isn't for us and then watch these types of movies to make us wish for it again.