White Nights

I watched this on YouTube, and there was a user who commented that this is the definition of “There are things I want to say to you, but I’ll just let you live,” and I totally agree with them. I’m afraid I’m like the Dreamer; Disillusioned, desperate, delusional and lonely. Let me tell you something. I’ve had a crush on this girl for almost a year and a half. She’s very lovely and smart, and her presence could light up my darkest days. But the thing is, I never found the courage to go up to her and start a simple conversation. There were moments when I could’ve talked to her or approached her, but I never did. I think she already knew I had feelings for her because I was so open about it with so many people, even people that I wasn’t close to. I probably mentioned her more than I ever talked about myself. Anyway, after weeks turned into months and months turned into a year, I finally found the courage to talk to her, online, at least. I recently sent her a DM, expressing my feelings. I thought she hated me for having feelings for her, but based on her reply, that wasn’t the case. She said she doesn’t have a problem with my feelings because they’re mine. However, she also said she couldn’t reciprocate. Her rejection was so polite and mature that I couldn’t even feel angry, just sad and still longing for her. The Dreamer reminds me so much of myself that it’s almost laughable, the irony of how similar we both are. We both want someone we can't have. Unrequited love will be the death of me, it lingers like an unhealed wound, quietly tearing me apart, a slow undoing of both the human mind and body.