Paris, Texas

“i used to talk to you all the time even though i was alone…. now i don’t know what to say. it was easier when i just imagined you.”  aw what the hell man. i love this movie. i don’t know what took me so long to watch it.. even with the lana song and my being a francophile and the few clips always made me think it would be triggering- but i just did it and i finally watched it and yes it was painful and beautiful. i had no way to know how seen this film was going to make me feel. how close to home it was going to be literally. shots of the houston skyline and highways the same ones i’ve driven on and seen all the time growing up and the shots of the east texas desert and the small towns they all cut like gorgeous nostalgic knives to my yearning skin. the gulf coast montage particularly made me actually cry. oh the regret and attempts to amends. god i can see how linklater would be inspired by this and how it almost felt like a eric rohmer film at times too. it’s just so tragic and longing— i mean the last 20 minutes are what does it in. the physical barrier the mirror the camera work oh my fucking god. gosh i’m no good i don’t know how to explain it but it’s real. i mean it’s stylized but it’s real. to think about someone for so long to grieve a person whose still there knowing you caused the riff the mental strife you live with forever. time progresses and you can’t just can’t make it go to how it used to be you can try your best but you can’t. there will always be that barrier i know it. and i’ve lived it. and i don’t even care ive made this review so long and its my letterboxd and it my film diary i don’t care if he follows me on here but i know that one way mirror will always be between us and i’ll watch from the dim rooftop parking lot forever. and it is better for me just stop and drive on away from it all but whatever man. i don’t care my thoughts my troubles wont fade until my bones themselves fade into dust.