arshu

hey guys hope y'all missed the dumps <3 lately, I've been in this random phase where I haven't been able to watch movies at all. like, I genuinely don't feel like watching anything, at all. I literally only sit at the TV cuz my parents practically force me to, and appudu kuda edo chudali annattu kurchunta kaani I'm never involved with wtv's going on in the movie. adi nadusthundi, nenu chusthunna. I practically feel like a dead body who essentially has no business in front of a TV. and then one day I got so pissed at just watching reels all day not having motivation to do anything whatsoever and scrolled thru all of the Telugu collection films on IPTV to find any movie that will make me sit in peace, and I found Pokiri. ngl, the first 30 min was difficult. I had to take a long ass break in between just to cry out the guilt of not being able to watch this movie like I used to, singing all the songs off the top of my lungs and saying every single dialogue by heart. the atrocious editing of the first half of this film wasn't helping me settle in either. until, the Golkonda Fort pre-intermission. appati nunchi idk what exactly happened, but the adrenaline was getting to me when Pandu started fighting the goons while Shruthi was absolutely traumatized lmao, and suddenly the kutty "imma work with gangsters when I grow up" Arshu broke her shell. appati nunchi movie end ayye daaka, even tho it took longer than expected for me to finish the movie, I was just so involved in it idek if I watched this movie with ilaanti concentration when I watched it for the first time (tbf I was prob like 6 months old when the DVD came out) Pokiri isn't just a film for me, it's a celebration of cinema. it's the movie that got me into movies, filmmaking, and everything in between in the first place. it was the first movie that made me feel so many things all at once. Pokiri is the movie I always go back to when things don't feel right, when I want to feel alive again. for someone with insane identity crises, this is the movie that makes me reconnect with true, unedited self again. maybe andukenemo, naa 20 years of existence lo enno movies chusina, enno events experience chesina, malli naa first favorite film deggarike ostha, basketball court scene ochinappudu gatti gattiga arustha, "Choododdantunna" ochinappudu aruchukuntu paadutha. I've always struggled with defining "home", but maybe home isn't as far as I thought it was, ig it's right on my TV. I feel a bit more like myself now, but I hope I come back to films and Letterboxd like usual very soon. I missed you pookies <3 (also I just realized, I watched this movie on this exact day 2 years ago lmfaooo) (also also WHO THE F THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO DELAY THE RERELEASE NARIKEYALI AADNI WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU AKJDLAHSLKSAH)

obsession if bear was a rational neurodivergent