Look Back

“Then why do you draw, Fujino-chan?” treating this review more like a diary entry than a review but honestly i need to just let this all out: these past few years have been hard for me as a creative, specifically as a writer but also as a whole. i have a job in marketing where i write bullshit to get things sold, and while i do have moments to flex my creative muscles and learn a thing or two, its not exactly the kind of work id want to dedicate my life to. i also stopped writing fanfiction, the thing that got me INTO writing at such a young age, and stories in general because i realized i was trying to write things i didnt enjoy and rush to publish them online for the sake of trends of consumption in those communities. needless to say, im probably burnt the FUCK out, and while i used to love to draw its kind of fallen to the wayside in the last couple of years. combine all this with a lot of life changing events - a once in a lifetime pandemic, the loss of loved ones, graduating college, moving back home, going into the workforce, the rise of AI, spiraling further and further into depression and burnout, trying to find your way in life amid a quarter life crisis, getting medicated for said depression for the first time - and it’s no fucking wonder how i let my love of art fall to the wayside. it was always still there, when id watch movies and shows and be super inspired, but now im really trying to make an effort to let myself find my way back to it. im doodling more mindlessly. im writing poetry again. im rewatching content i loved as a kid. this movie was basically kindling to the embers of my creative soul, its warmth washing over me to soothe my fears and doubts big and small about the future of art, both my own and as a whole. im gonna go rummage through my sketchbooks. go make some fucking art for yourself.