Kill Bill: Vol. 2

I was expecting a movie called Kill Bill Vol. 2. Imagine my disappointment when Bill survived for almost the entire movie. That’s like ordering fries and getting a potato farm documentary. The first movie had swords, blood, and people getting launched into the afterlife every five minutes. This one has conversations. Long conversations. Entire conversations. At one point I started wondering if Quentin Tarantino accidentally uploaded his podcast instead of a movie. The Bride spends half the film buried underground. I paid to watch a movie, not a two-hour Minecraft survival challenge. Bill also talks so much that I forgot he was supposed to be the final boss. By the end I wasn’t scared of him. I was waiting for him to start a YouTube channel called “Bill Explains Superheroes.” Then comes the final fight. I was expecting explosions, twenty-seven swords, and at least one helicopter. Instead, Bill gets poked a few times and walks away like his Wi-Fi disconnected. Overall, Kill Bill Vol. 2 is a film that bravely asks the question: “What if revenge was delayed by several extremely long conversations?” I watched it for action and left with enough dialogue to write a philosophy thesis.