Idk he just couldn't handle laura palmer and how this showcases the final days of her life

gays

you get it

he just would miss the point entirely

I can here the mansplaining about Blanche and her mental state right now

*mobster voice* "y'know it's really about Tony

homoerotic

women

too artsy and Italian for him, would be confused

would not understand that she's killing pedos

Look at the poster

"They are great friends

per Natalie's suggestion

"Tarantino likes it therefore it must be good" (side note: this is so silly goofy and we all need to watch it together)

would side with Joaquin Phoenix

we've been over this

he would talk like he knows what's going on and try to explain it to you

cole sprouse is making him uncomfortable

LOCK IT IN A VAULT

it's going in the vault with a secret passcode

dumb fun

it's not even out yet I just feel it in my bones

per jaden's suggestion

I dare him to watch it

horny

would not be able to get past that taylor swift directed it

everything will fly over his head at lightning speed or he will forget the message a minute after it's ended

once you see it you know

he'd say "That's awesome!!!" and know damn well he was lost the entire time

he refuses to read the book which I infinitely better than this film so he won't have a bar, and therefore won't have beef with ridley scott which is the only way to watch this correctly he would also keep comparing julianne to jodie which is just unfair to both of them

more dumb fun

OH. MY. GOD. KEEP IT AWAY FROM HIM. THIS MOVIE IS <b>FOR THE GIRLS</b> AND NOT IN A GIRLIEPOP WAY

same reasoning as Jennifer's Body