Shortbus

never thought a film with an opening scene of a guy cumming in his own mouth would be so touching the sex is REAL but it’s incidental. it’s a pornagraphic exploration of human connection and just— feeling.  this is my second time watching this film and i’ve never seen anything like it. the first time i watched was by far my favorite film viewing experience, and im pretty sure it always will be. i was taking a class in college that focused on genre. Each week we would explore different genres, most of the time genre mashups of some sort, and my professor would assign a film to watch for homework that week and in class we would watch a film together. for our chapter in porn he quite literally assigned for us to watch porn movies, one of them not being a film, just straight up porn. i recall the title literally being, “mommy i’m coming”. the other was “stranger by the lake”, a french erotic thriller drama directed by Alain Guiraudie (also such a good film but i won’t get into that now).  mind you, this is a group of about ten 20 year olds, and one woman in her 70s coming into class at 8:30 on a monday morning, all of which watched porn for homework. the tension was thick, obviously everyone watched porn, you just never discuss it with your peers or professor(he was a drag queen btw).  walking into class was uncomfortable for everyone, not in a way where anyone was upset or truly uncomfortable because of course we had the option not to come if we weren’t comfortable with it, but everyone showed up regardless. the conversation was slightly dry and you could tell me and all of my classmates didn’t really know what to say or how to feel, but then the film started. it was pure joy in that classroom. all of us were intently glued to the screen, pondering, laughing, and crying and the events that unfolded in the film. the tension was immediately gone and all of a sudden we all got it. the energy in the room was incredible, being a film student and being surrounded by others who were just as passionate about it as you are watching a film about vulnerability, human connection, and having no idea who you are and feeling alone because of it, but then realizing no matter where you are there is a community of people, whether it’s hundreds, dozens, or just a handful, that know exactly what you’re going through, and even if they don’t they’ll embrace you and who you are. we all came to understand that the sex was very real and it was everywhere, and i mean EVERYWHERE. but it was solely incidental. i don’t want to say the sex wasn’t important— because it really was. but it wasn’t about the physical act it was about connection and safe spaces. it was about being human, no matter your age, race, sexuality, and everything in between. it was about community, and being part of something you didn’t even know was all around you.  that was my favorite class i’ve ever been to, and by far my favorite experience of watching a film for the first time. the energy in the room completely shifted from a group of uncomfortable college students who watch porn for homework, to a group of humans (most if not all of which were queer) who were all feeling the exact same way without even saying a word to each other.  this probably won’t be a film i watch a lot through my life but i think it’ll be a film i rewatch when i feel isolated or like i have no place, because even if it doesn’t feel like it there is always a place for you somewhere, and there are always people that will understand. even if your name is Ceth with a c. (or “Bitch” because you’re real name is Jennifer Aniston).