Chase Vidamo

***This movie tried to smash the patriarchy and somehow hit itself instead.*** Ladies First imagines a world where gender roles are reversed, and men suddenly experience the condescension, beauty standards, office humiliation, and everyday nonsense women usually deal with. On paper, this should have been funny. Like genuinely, the idea is there. Watching arrogant men get called “too emotional” or panic over beauty standards could have been satisfying, but the movie does not really do much beyond switching the roles. It feels less like sharp satire and more like “what if women acted like the worst men?” and then expected me to clap. Some jokes landed, I’ll give it that. The cast is trying, and Rosamund Pike looked like she was having fun being an ice cold corporate menace. But overall, the politics felt shallow and the comedy felt outdated. Like girl, this is not feminism. This is a gender swap skit that escaped containment. Ladies First wanted to say something smart, but it mostly just proved that making everyone terrible is not the same as making a point.

**“Touch grass, but make it magical.” ✨** The Magic Faraway Tree follows a family who discovers a magical tree that can take them to different lands, full of fantastical wonder. Basically, it is one giant whimsical side quest where the kids climb a tree and unlock new fantasy DLC every few minutes. And honestly? This was CUTE. Not life changing. Not peak cinema. Just cute. It has that very British children’s movie energy where everything is bright, weird, slightly theatrical, and powered by the belief that a magical ladder can solve family problems. The worlds were fun, the colors were popping, and the whole thing felt like a children’s book that got a budget and started whimsy maxing. Andrew Garfield being a cozy magical dad was also very important to the plot, actually. Like why were the kids on their devices when Andrew Garfield was right there in glasses and a sweater??? Ungrateful behavior, truly. That being said, the first part was a little rough. The kids were kind of annoying at first, especially Beth, and I had to remind myself that this is literally a movie for younger audiences. Still, some of the “family conflict” moments felt like they were written by an AI fridge trying to understand emotions. And then the family song happened... I’m sorry but the second they started singing, my soul left my body. Like please. It just hurted my mental state deep inside. Still, I can’t fully hate it. The movie has charm. The magical tree is fun, Moonface had the drip on, and every new land felt like sugar rush. It is not perfect, and it definitely gets cringe, but it also has a sweetness that makes it hard to be too mean. Overall, The Magic Faraway Tree is colorful, silly, and very much made for kids, but there is enough whimsy to make it enjoyable. Sometimes you just need a movie that inspires you go outside, climb a tree, and stop letting the iPad raise you.

***"May this kind of love never find us." 😶‍🌫*** Lost in the Stars starts with a man looking for his missing wife after she disappears during their vacation. Then suddenly, a different woman appears and everyone insists that she is his wife. And from there, the movie said: you thought you knew what was happening? Cute. The amount of twists in this movie had me GAGGED. Like every time I thought I finally caught up, another reveal came in and humbled me so fast. My jaw was open for most of the final act because WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN. And the way everything connects by the end? Insane. The clues were literally there. The details were sitting in front of us. The film was not just throwing random twists for fun. It was painting the whole picture slowly, like its own twisted version of Starry Night, beautiful from far away, but the closer you look, the more disturbing it gets. Also, men. MENNN. ☕ This movie is basically a warning that some men do not just ruin women. They consume their light, their dreams, their peace, and then still find a way to act like the victim. The freaking AUDACITY??? Like sir, may your pillow always be warm. What makes it hit harder is that beneath all the thriller chaos, it is really about greed, control, betrayal, and how love can become dangerous in the wrong hands. I was shocked. I was angry. I was entertained. I was stressed. A very plot twist after plot twist experience, but somehow it all worked for me. Van Gogh gave us stars to dream under. This movie gave us *stars to get lost in.*

> *“There’s a lot I wish I’d done differently, but I’ll never spend one second regretting you.”* Regretting You follows a mother and daughter dealing with grief, secrets, and messy relationships after a tragedy exposes the cracks in their family. I am still trying to process how this movie somehow made cheating feel like a romantic plot device. Like girl what do you mean we are soft launching infidelity as destiny. I get that the story is supposed to be about regret, forgiveness, grief, and complicated love, but the way it frames certain choices had me SIDE EYEINGGGG. Being tragic does not automatically make betrayal poetic. That being said, some parts were absolutely HILARIOUS, whether they meant to be or not. The constant door knocking, the intense stares, the small town gossip energy, and the unrealistic dialogue. I was laughing, confused, and judging everyone at the same time. It had that Wattpad energy where you know it’s messy and kind of cringe, but you still can’t stop watching because you need to know what ridiculous thing happens next. Overall, Regretting You is messy, dramatic, cringe in places, unintentionally funny, and weirdly watchable. I just wish it understood that regret is supposed to come from the weight of what you did. Not from realizing too late that the audience is regretting it with you.