Brokeback Mountain

“yknow i ain’t queer” “neither am i” [stinger music] i’ve been watching so many movies this past week for the last week of pride month and was saving this one until the very end, knowing it was going to depress me (surprise, it did!!) and that it was a well-regarded film. i’m very glad i did. there are so many wonderful things to say about this movie. i knew i enjoyed it more than i thought after i finished it, since there were at least two or three pages of notes scribbled in pink ink in front of me. in said notes, i started off by complimenting the cinematography. the scenery was more than beautiful. i loved how it represented how secluded, deeply frustrated, and confused jack and ennis felt. i was also impressed by the direction with how subtle and restrained it was. ang lee did a fantastic job. one of my favorite aspects of this movie was the symbolism. the shirts, mountains, horses, and cigarettes. i loved how every little small thing became so devastatingly intimate. out of all things that could have viciously broken me, it was the shirts in the closet. you could feel ennis’ regret and desperation to have jack return from the grave. it was truly the most gentle kind of agony i’ve ever seen in a film. another favorite detail of mine was in the pre-sex scene between ennis and alma. the way he flips her onto her stomach, most likely thinking about jack. it’s a quick, almost subconscious move, but it says so much. you can instantly tell that ennis is so ashamed by himself that he can’t even face his own wife while attempting to chase the feeling he yearns to have again. and you can definitely see his exhilaration once he reunited with jack. (thank you michelle williams) i could write a 10-paged essay about jack and ennis (i almost did) yet what really stuck with me was jack’s viewpoint of the relationship. so many people talk about the “i wish i knew how to quit you” but never “you measure the short fuckin' leash you keep me on.” i believe one of the most bleak moments in this movie is jack’s slow realization that he will always love ennis more than ennis loves him. he was willing to give up everything, whereas ennis continued to be at arm’s length despite being the one who kept coming back and promising jack more of what he could give him. as somebody who’s been in jack’s place too many times, this was so heartbreaking on many levels. he had so much hope in his heart, and to witness that die was unbearable. the most ironic part of all this is how most people’s reactions when it first came out in 2005 completely proved the movie’s point. all the ongoing jests about the “gay cowboys” were rooted in homophobia. i don’t know how people watched that flashback from ennis’ childhood, where his father showed him the beaten, murdered rancher, and still missed the entire point. those kinds of reactions are exactly what made ennis so disgusted with himself. not only does it contribute to the mindset that being gay’s like some circus act, but also something shameful and dirty. when you explore queerness, you have to bring up how it affects masculinity and femininity. in my opinion, this film did marvelous work regarding it. every time ennis and jack were wrestling, ennis tends to be more violent before giving into his desires, whilst jack is playful. it’s a brilliant metaphor of their relationship.it shows how jack is the complete opposite of ennis. he’s more emotionally open and willing to love ennis as openly as he can, despite the fact his lover can’t meet him there. ennis is deeply terrified that loving jack out loud would mean he’ll become the dead rancher in the ditch. and by the end of the film, even after everything, ennis is still hiding behind his internalized homophobia. this film was utterly remarkable and heart-rending. it left me with so much to think about (clearly). no matter how old this gets, it will always remain important. its outstanding, plaintive script and acting will stay with me. heath and jake really acted their hearts out in this and it shows. next time i watch this, i’ll make sure i have a glass of wine or something 😭 also huge thanks to the person who introduced me to this film. you know who you are.