crimsonedkiss

at first, idaho felt like a mysterious film to me, because i didnt necessarily understand it, but i understood it was something I wanted to understand. so here i am now, giving it a second try by rewatching it, and reading a few articles about it, with my own sense of clueless and lostness within the film. unsurprisingly, i found parts that reflected back at me. A longing for home. mike is a lost vulnerable soul, wounded but hopeful, almost childlike searching for warmth, love, and comfort. i feel less alone and more alone all at once staring at the campfire scene, watching it over and over again. “two guys can’t love each other” can be interpreted in many different ways. to me, its either his observation and realization of the lack of acceptance toward homosexuality in that era, or a homo-panic reaction caused by internalized homophobia that makes him reject or suppress whatever he feels for Mike. i really love how river gave more depth to that scene by turning mike, who was originally supposed to just be “playing around” with Scott, into something that visibly queer. i love the dynamic between keanu and river, and i mourn the loss of River more than ever.

me and WHO