Sentimental Value

We can't really talk. This is exactly what it means to have a complicated relationship with one's father. Then I had this kind of crisis. I was alone in the house again, lying in bed, crying. I know everyone lies in bed crying at some point, But. Someone said praying isn't really talking to God. It's acknowledging despair. To throw yourself on the ground because that's all you can do. Not unlike heartbreak. Call me. Please change your mind. Take me back. There I was. I'd ruined everything. I was alone, lying there, crying. And then, for the first time. I sat down and prayed. Its hard to explain. I don't know who I prayed to, but I said it out loud. Help me. I can't do this. I can't do it alone. I want a home. What a horror movie. P.S. Avoidant attachment core