Dìdi (弟弟)
I don’t know whether to go 4 or 4.5 but who cares this movie was legit. It brought up some of the worst parts about growing up in a true and endearing way. The no room in the car scene after playing minigolf, that whole minigolf scene in general, ate at my core. I, like many others, have experienced that same thing. Having a friend use you as a bit of a stool to boost themself through, not really showing up as yourself and trying to express things but not holding the situation. It’s an authentic and real experience. I relate it to going to Busch gardens with my best friend Ethan with two girls, we each had a bit of a crush on both of them individually, not the same girl. He talked to them both the whole day, kinda pushed me to the side, and made me feel a bit like a bum. And that experience continued whether with girls or new friends or whatever, we grew apart and now I see it as dumb but at the time it was terrible. This movie gave great commentary on growing up, through the friendships, relationships, and most importantly family. I used to battle with my parents, it makes me cringe and hate myself for how I acted but I forgive myself now because I know it was beyond my control in a way. Teens and parents clash even if the parents are perfect. Seeing the mother in this film suffer so much but still love her child is disheartening but true. That’s reality. Kids become a parent’s life essentially. That’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to have kids in full thought. But I know deep down it’s worth it. The battles and teenage drama will happen but if things are done right they walk out the other side with love. This was shown great with the older kids Chris starts hanging out with. They immediately dislike his disrespect for his mom. The one older kid is very mature and locked in and shows kindness to Chris the whole time, almost like a mentor. But they’re still kids too. They didn’t take in to count how Chris would feel about being left out after his skating videos weren’t what they wanted, they simply moved on. I’m rambling a bit but that’s kind of how the movie made me feel, like a kid with lost thoughts. I was a bit too young for the Facebook, messenger, etc. era but this movie still gave me a nostalgia kick. There’s way too much to cover. So I’m going to break it down a bit.
His relationship with his mother and grandmother is ultimately beautiful. It rings true, he will battle and hate his mom, and will continue to do so for a few more years no doubt. But there’s moments of recognition that we all can relate to where we realize how hard our parents are working for us and what we essentially took from them. The love is true.
With his sister you see the distance and awkwardness, as though they’ve never truly had to be there for each other but that starts to change. When my sisters left for college I was too young, but by the time they were leaving for the last time I was old enough and I missed them. But I wasn’t close to them. Now I’m firmly close with my sister who lives nearby, I love our relationship and it’s grown from the arguments and nothingness of it all.
With his younger friends, kids do what they do and it’s not malicious as often as it seems. It’s self-interest. But it’s ultimately malicious without thought. It’s hard. I never felt like the kid on top, but I’m sure I was at times. I’m sure I made fun of some friends to boost my self, but I know that now and I know how it feels when it happened to me. We grow up and mature. He’ll grow up and look back at this the same way we all do.
With the girl, well yeah. Girls are hard. Especially at that age. I never talked to my crushes, I talked to girls that were kind of thrown my way. I was too scared to talk to the girls I liked. Any girls I did talk to though I did as he did, I lied a bit, I played myself different or a bit better, and I was terrified. We all learn and grow up.
With his older friends, he of course did everything he could to look cool and fit in or even shine out. I can’t fully relate to this as much. I had some older friends but I was just kind of quiet and slid to the back. I didn’t drink until I was basically 21, no drugs, nothing like that. But I get his perspective. He feels appreciated and cool and accepted but he needs to do these things he shouldn’t to continue that. It’s also ignorance.
With his culture. This one really interested me, not because I’ve lived it but rather I studied it in my research lab. We call it the between two worlds study. We study first and second generation immigrants and how they feel in their new world. It’s existential psychology so we are studying that disconnected feeling. Chris or Wang Wang or Dìdi or whatever name you choose has that disconnection. He is assimilating in to the culture he grows up with at school and through friends but still is engrained in his culture at home. I liked the shot of him having his shoes off at the door and his high school friends all walking in with their shoes on. It’s an invasion on his two worlds, worlds he doesn’t like to mix. He is living many lives and that makes it harder to grow up and know yourself.
And the feeling of not being enough for your parents is universal. We want to make them proud and we lash out when we don’t.
Oh and the grandmother feeling ugly, that’s too much to get in to. Aging and the effect on self thought is too much. But it’s reflective of his coming of age too.
Idk, I just said a lot so I think we’re going up to 4.5. Really thought provoking and memory picking movie, I loved it.
“He just called me a bitch!!What is bitch?”
“Chris… makes videos!”
“Are you nervous?”
“Mom, are you ashamed of me?”
“You’re pretty cute for an Asian guy.”