deaestz

personally, i didn’t empathize much with erika, but i understood clearly why she is the way she is. erika isn’t simply a repressed woman. she’s a woman who tried to live without desire. or worse: who learned to fear it, to hate it, to break it down into rules, scores, structures, contracts, punishments. from the very beginning, her world is ruled by control. her body is a prison, her mother the warden. but she’s also her own warden. the scene where erika gives the letter to walter, she does it believing she can finally gain power over her desire: “if you do this, i’ll be safe. you’ll follow the script, you won’t hurt me beyond what i allow.” but walter doesn’t follow the script. when he finally desires her, he does it outside the boundaries. what for him is passion, for her is emotional violation. because she doesn’t know how to deal with surrender without rules. what should have been ecstasy becomes destruction. erika is NOT perverse: she’s the purest consequence of a world that never let her be human. and in the end, her only act of freedom… is hurting herself. because even that is more tolerable than continuing to play in a world where there is no music for her. i really can’t say i “enjoyed” this movie, because i truly didn’t. but i was fascinated by how it explores the darkest parts of the human condition, and how in erika’s case it was her environment that failed her.

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?!?!?

í watched the last scene listening end of the night, take it as it comes and a part of the end by the doors and it was one hell of an experience

charlotte brontë was found turning in her grave back in 2011 when ts premiered 🥀