Heartstone

One of my only coherent ways to describe this after just crying over and over is poetry in the form of images built to linger in your mind for what feels like an eternity. Truly opens your heart out and reaches into your soul, fully immersing you into the black hole of this bleak world of directionless teenage youth they’re subjected to throughout. So moving and convincing, something deeply, sincere, earnest, and personal with how each frame and piece of writing throughout the narrative is handled with such care.  Probably my new favorite coming of age film and the best I’ve ever seen. Holds a complete capsule to the current state of being a teen and kid lost in life with no parental or outside guidance, constantly trying to make it day by day through the ignorance of a kid making bad decisions out of desperation for acceptance and the immaturity of being a teen, constantly wanting to try new things and push the boundaries. Those embarrassing and uncomfortable moments that come with the mistake driven mind of a teen, we sometimes laugh at but also contemplate and feel guilt about once we realize the true concept of how our actions can affect our lives on a deeper level than some temporary shame. Loads of portrayals of shame throughout the movie, specifically regarding the topic of becoming gay and the fear of coming out that closet and shell. For teens it's especially hard in a stage where many don’t yet try to challenge or explore their sexuality outside of their attraction to the opposite gender. So when you don’t fall on that standard teen boy spectrum of just falling in love with girls, there’s a sort of weighing feeling of fear of alienation from the rest of your peers which Christian tries to run away from and cover up his true feelings for him because he fears loneliness from not being accepted or truly appreciated for who he is. Even if they do accept him, there’s still a relatability disconnect because he’s the outsider being the only queer person in the group, separating himself apart from the rest. Beyond just attraction and lust of a teen, this intimacy and heavy circle of romance is rooted in something way deeper constantly throughout. It’s an extreme longing for some connection or feeling of safety and love in someone’s arms you can trust, in a life where you’ve never gotten that even from you’re immediate family who’s in just as much as a wreck as you due to troubling parenting and relationship problems years in the running.  Cinematography is also just breathtaking and amazing at capturing the essence of this vast land. Whether it’s the tender camerawork, slowly sweeping you across the room of intimacy or tragedy, or the beautiful wide framing and color grading capturing the land’s great form of  escape and exploration with its ray of sunshine and bright grassy fields, away from their tense lives at home, or capturing the melancholy of tragedy through dark clouds in the air while they bask alone in the fields once again, but out of reflecting on life this time. Amazing film but I will warn you, one of the most gut wrenching I’ve seen in a while personally