The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride is a perfect fairy tale movie. It has adventure, humor, action, and, of course, true love. It is, according to IMDB, the most quotable movie in history. I have to agree (with maybe Monty Python and the Holy Grail having an argument--due to its fanatical fandom). The quotability of this movie is due to a few things. First of all, there is great source material. The original novel by William Goldman is fantastic. I read it after watching the movie about 100 times and found it to be a different, yet wonderful experience. Secondly, the amazing adaptation into a movie screenplay by the original author and his close work on a unified vision with director Rob Reiner was perfect. They shared a vision and worked together to bring all of the charm of the book AND MORE to the screen. I think that this is one of the rare examples of a film that is superior to the book. And thirdly, the amazing cast brought the characters to life and owned the experience. Each character is memorable and an important part of the story. There is not much that I can add that has not been said to praise and uplift this film It is a masterpiece. So, instead of pontificating, I shall celebrate this film by exulting many of its greatest quotes: (Read a few or stick around for a while) Princess Bride Quotes: Westley and Buttercup 1. Westley: “Hear this now: I will always come for you.” Buttercup: “But how can you be sure?” Westley: “This is true love. You think this happens every day?” 2. Buttercup: “We’ll never survive.” Westley: “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.” 3. Westley: “Can you move at all?” Buttercup: “Move? You’re alive. If you want, I can fly.” 4. Buttercup: “We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.” Westley: “No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt — no problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future, we can avoid that too.” Buttercup: “Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?” Westley: “Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.” (immediately, a R.O.U.S. attacks him) 5. Buttercup: “You mock my pain.” Man in Black: “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” 6. Westley: “I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?” Buttercup: “Well… you were dead.” Westley: “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” Buttercup: “I will never doubt again.” Westley: “There will never be a need.” 7. “It’s not that bad. Well, I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.” Inigo Montoya 1. “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” 2. Inigo: “I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” Man in Black: “Do you always begin conversations this way?” 3. Inigo: “Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.” Westley: “Have you ever considered piracy? You’d make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.” 4. Inigo Montoya: “Who are you?” Man in Black: “No one of consequence.” Inigo: “I must know.” Man in Black: “Get used to disappointment.” Inigo: “K.” 5. Inigo: “I donna suppose you could speed things up?” Man in Black: “If you’re in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.” Inigo: “I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.” Man in Black: “That does put a damper on our relationship.” 6. Man in Black: “You’ve done nothing but study swordplay?” Inigo: “More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It’s been 20 years now, and I’m starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There’s a lot of money in revenge.” Man in Black: “Well, I certainly hope you find him someday.” Inigo: “You are ready then?” Man in Black: “Whether I am or not, you’ve been more than fair.” Inigo: “You seem a decent fellow; I hate to kill you.” Man in Black: “You seem a decent fellow; I hate to die.” Inigo: “Begin.” 7. Inigo: “You know, Fezzik, you finally did something right.” Fezzik: “Don’t worry, I won’t let it go to my head.” 8. “Let me explain… no, there is too much. Let me sum up.” 9. “Humiliations galore!” Vizzini 1. Vizzini: “He didn’t fall? INCONCEIVABLE!” Inigo Montoya: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” 2. Vizzini: “I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.” Man in Black: “You’re that smart?” Vizzini: “Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?” Man in Black: “Yes.” Vizzini: “Morons.” 3. “You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.” 4. “You fell victim to one of the classic blunders — the most famous of which is, ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia’ — but only slightly well-known is this: ‘Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!’ Hahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha!” Princess Bride Quotes: Marriage and True Love 1. The Impressive Clergyman: “Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us together today. Mawage, that blessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva. So tweasure your wuv.” Prince Humperdinck: “Skip to the end.” The Impressive Clergyman: “Have you the wing? And do you, Pwincess Buwwercup…” Prince Humperdinck: “Man and wife. Say, man and wife.” The Impressive Clergyman: “Man an’ wife.” 2. Grandpa: “It was 10 days to the wedding. The King still lived, but Buttercup’s nightmares were growing steadily worse.” Grandson: “See, didn’t I tell you she’d never marry that rotten Humperdinck?” Grandpa: “Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.” 3. “Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.” — Grandpa 4. Grandpa: “Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.” Buttercup: “Farm boy, polish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.” Westley: “As you wish.” Grandpa: “‘As you wish’ is all he ever said to her.” Buttercup: “Farm boy, fill these with water, please.” Westley: “As you wish.” Grandpa: “That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying ‘As you wish,’ what he meant was, ‘I love you.’ And then even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.” 5. “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world… except for a nice MLT. Mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe. (smacks his lips) They’re so perky; I love that.” — Miracle Max 6. “You can’t hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. And when I say you are a coward, it is only because you are one of the slimiest weaklings ever to walk the earth!” — Buttercup Other Iconic Princess Bride Quotes and Conversations 1. Westley: “Give us the gate key.” Yellin: “I have no gate key.” Inigo Montoya: “Fezzik, tear his arms off.” Yellin: “Oh, you mean this gate key.” 2. “Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” — Dread Pirate Roberts 3. Grandson: “A book?” Grandpa: “That’s right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today, I’m gonna read it to you.” Grandson: “Has it got any sports in it?” Grandpa: “Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles.” Grandson: “Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try to stay awake.” Grandpa: “Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.” 4. “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.” — Miracle Max 5. “We are men of action. Lies do not become us.” — Westley 6. Grandson: “Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.” Grandpa: “As you wish.” 7. “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” — Westley 8. Vizzini: “I suppose you think you’re brave, don’t you?” Buttercup: “Only compared to some.” 9. “You’ve been mostly dead all day.” — Fezzik 10. “What?! Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise at night… in eel-infested waters.” — Vizzini Thanks to Scary Mommy from whom I stole most of these quotes)