JamesB

Who knew three and a half hours of some British guy walking around a desert could be so entertaining

I know, I know, anyone seeing this review and me rating it so low is going to trigger some people and want to have some people have my head on a pitch fork, especially since so many people have been praising this movie, but just HEAR ME OUT PLEASE Don’t get me wrong, I love Spielberg, but I think my goat is washed. This movie tries way too hard to be “mysterious” and “deep” but just didn’t really hit the right way and just how it landed in general, the stupid shit with the animals etc. A big factor was also just the characters, super unlikeable and just outright weird, I know she was also acting like a schizophrenic on purpose because she is some sort of “divine being” but I hated Emily Blunt in this movie SO MUCH. I kinda thought the villain was also a bit right as well which I don’t even think is too much of a wrong this personally. What annoyed me the most about this movie is that everybody was so upset and tearing up about treating these aliens so harshly, who genuinely cares?? Realistically, nobody would give a shit, let’s actually be honest with ourselves here. The only thing I liked in general about this movie was John Williams, the greatest music composer oat is still doing music at the age of 94 which I find insane. Sorry Spielberg, I love you but this was just  unwatchable and pretty boring

My horny ass friends telling me, “yeah I could fix her”