Aftersun

for once i’m going to write a serious review. this movie created a hole in my chest, as a knife right into the skin would do and there are two aspects of Aftersun that destroyed me. at first, it seems just a cute vacation of a single dad with her daughter. that reminded me of myself, as a kid, around greece or paris or italy with my daddy, right after my parents broke up. i related with Sophie on every single aspect. and this movie hurt me because yeah, I have a dad, but i miss my daddy. I miss the man who would call me everyday, who would bring me everywhere, who would gift me something just because i mentioned i liked it. I miss the man who would make the shark sound when we were swimming to play with me or the one that would take pictures of me anytime. I miss him so much. But suddenly something changed and now i have this feeling I will never get my daddy back. I would give my life to get back to those beautiful moments we shared together, when i was his “Muso”. I didn’t lose my father like Sophie did, or at least as we get through the movie, but I miss him anyway. the second aspect that made me think a lot during this movie is Callum’s side of the story. he struggled and was afraid of those depressive tendencies that his daughter showed.  should I have kids when I get older? I ask myself this a lot. I suffered of depression for 7 years now and this year i discovered I have personality disorders and my biggest fear is that my child might have them too. I could not imagine how much it would break my heart if my child had depression. yeah, i would know how to help them but it is something that drains you so much you want to end your life. or what if my kid has a personality disorder? i would condemn them to something horrible because i was so selfish and had kids. Callum was so strong trying to keep it all inside of himself even if it isn’t healthy at all but making your child see your struggles will just make the situation worse.  but yeah, as you can see, I enjoyed this movie A LOT