Secretary
It is to my delight that I have received the blessings from the powers that be. Blessings which have manifested by way of allowing me to rewatch this film and gaining a newfound love for this work of art. My reviews on this app have always been quick quips of quirk. However after such an experience, I cannot sully this fine display of passion with an unworthy review.
What passion! What maturation! To see a sublation of the dominant/submissive dialectic unfold in the manner it did injects an ether of ecstasy into my soul. Not only did I bear witness to a wonderful display of the development of the dynamic between Mr. Grey and Lee Holloway, but I was fortunate enough to view the anima and animus of our protagonists.
Lee Holloway, played by the wonderful Maggie Gyllenhaal, is a character with whom I have little in common. I am not a masochist, I am not a woman, and most importantly, I am not a secretary. Yet considering my non-masochistic non-secretary male background, I am beyond enthralled with the story of young Lee. Her agravic and gossamer aura simply captivated me. One may look at her self-harm and be disturbed by her actions. Yet this film decides to tastefully go beyond the threats she poses to her own body. From her time in the institution and the time we see of her pre-secretary, it is clear that she was not in control.
The pain she inflicted upon herself was purely animalistic. Lee's soul was incomplete and shattered by her unfortunate childhood. And in her broken self she made herself feel pain, a sentiment Mr. Grey understood. But why pain?? How on earth is a statement like "But pain is all she can feel" sensical? Yet sensical it is. Pain need not be bad, whilst none of us should resort to using a sewing kit on ourselves, pain is not bad. Is beer not bitter? Are sourpatch kids not sour? Does a 5k run not produce undesired effects? A feeling is a feeling, we cannot help it, and just as a bitter beer is delicious so can a hot kettle be healing.
And from the ashes, we see a burst of flames escape, its fiery blaze spreading its beauty as far as possible. Lee sets her sights on developing herself in the real world and applies to become a secretary to Mr. Grey. Through Mr. Grey's seemingly insignificant order to stop harming herself, Lee finally finds the control she had always been missing. Yet it was not an insignificant order, and Lee's issue had not primarily been one of control.
Mr. Grey, played by James Spader, was the sadist that our masochistic protagonist needed. And whilst many like to focus on Lee developing and becoming a girl boss, Mr. Grey developed as well and needed Lee for said development. It was as if their souls were intertwined, words were not needed at any moment to understand this. From the trembling lips to the interlocking of eyes, we knew this was not lust but something much more queer.
As a mentally unstable individual, one would expect that I was extremely turned on during this film. And one would be correct if the quality of the film was even a minutia worse. Yet perfection had been reached, and I saw not lustful eroticism but an unveiling of true untethered passion.
I have much to say but I shan't say anymore since words cannot illicit the beatific vision I live.