Jack Bordignon

I gave “The Mean One” 1 star which is me being quite generous actually. It’s just a mess from start to finish. The acting is just bloody terrible to the point where it became just laughable and really killed any chance of me actually trying to enjoy the film. I’m not just saying all this stuff to put shit on this…it’s genuinely that bad. The lighting is also god awful, which might honestly be the worst lighting I’ve ever seen in a film, because it made everything look cheap and so dark for no reason, and the editing didn’t help either — it legit felt like it was made on iMovie with awkward cuts and transitions that a school student would’ve crafted on a weekend. The attempts at humour fell super flat, so it ended up being unfunny, and a lot of scenes just had me straight-up cringing, especially when it leaned into parody without any actual wit. Even the jump-scares felt lazy and predictable. And the aerial shots of the town looked very fake…like a whole different level of fake, like someone ripped YouTube drone footage of a town and stitched it into the edit — it was extremely obvious (at least to me) and took me right out of the movie. So before I could even try to get invested, stupid shit like that would completely rattle me. There are specific moments that highlight just how little effort went into this movie. The flashback scene early in the movie with Cindy and the main sheriff is f*cken hilarious for all the wrong reasons, because when it cut to him in present day, his beard is so clearly painted or poorly digitally greyed to make him look older that it was impossible not to laugh. I’ve experienced this similar movie before, like “Screamboat” (2025) from the same director — and the ‘Terrifier’ films, and those at least delivered on gore and atmosphere. In comparison, this honestly felt like the Wish version — super bad effects and cartoonish blood splatters that didn’t even try to look realistic. It’s the kind of VFX that felt rushed (or like they used a phone VFX app to make the gore. If I had to give the film any credit — keeping it off being a 0.5 star, was David Howard Thorton as ‘The Mean One’ and the voiceover narration (similar to a Dr. Seuss film), which at least brought a bit of personality and that twisted Christmas story vibe. David Howard Thorton has a pretty strong physical presence, and I could see glimpses of what the movie could’ve been if the production quality matched his performance. But overall, this was a really disappointing attempt at a holiday horror movie. It’s not clever, it’s not scary, and it doesn’t even work as a “so bad it’s good” movie — it’s mostly just bad. The premise had potential, but everything from the acting and lighting to the editing and effects dragged it down significantly, leaving me more baffled than entertained.

80’s MOVIE CHALLENGE: FILM #12 So I watched “The Princess Bride” (1987), and thought it was a solid 80’s movie — but I do believe it’s slightly overrated. I’ve just got to quickly say my prayers for Rob Reiner, a true legend. I can see how people who grew up with it or who love that whimsical story book vibe might hold it up as a classic, but coming into it fresh, the tone just didn’t work for me personally. That whole almost intentionally cringe style of humour didn’t land, for me and I found myself not connecting with the emotional beats as much as I wanted to. The plot felt way too predictable, and even though I understand that simplicity is part of the charm and exactly what it might’ve been going for, I didn’t love how straightforward it all played out. I was waiting for some surprises or a stronger emotional hook, but the impact just wasn’t there in the way I hoped. On the positive side, though, I genuinely enjoyed the characters and thought they were memorable enough to keep me entertained even when the tone wasn’t clicking. I enjoyed when the film leaned into the adventurous elements—whether it was the sword-fighting sequences, the exploration of quirky fantasy locations, or the playful back-and-forth between characters. Just the whole exploration and fun of that element was enough to make me think this was a good movie. The chemistry in certain interactions, especially moments with Westley and Inigo, added a beautiful charm that worked really well for me. The world-building also felt extremely creative and light, and it gave the movie a fun energy that made it easy to watch. Overall, it’s a movie where I totally get why people rave about it, but at the same time, watching it now without any nostalgia that people may hold it to, it didn’t blow me away. It has a lot of heart, memorable characters, and clever writing, and I respect its place as a beloved classic—but for me personally, it came off as a bit overrated and didn’t fully connect on an emotional level. Still, I walked away thinking it was a good, enjoyable film. R.I.P Rob Reiner.

Ok so just for some context before I get into my review of “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” (2025). I’m a ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s fan…I wouldn’t say I’m a super fan…because I’m actually quite far from that…I don’t really own any merchandise from the ip, but I played the games when I was younger and have dived back into the games just recently before checking out this sequel. And honestly, I’ve got to say one thing. Now other people may feel differently, but I believe the games are just way creepier and scarier than the movies. The sheer atmosphere and feeling of direct involvement in the games is something these movies don’t really reach. It’s ultimately why video game adaptations are so hard to make good…I think you’ve achieved a good video game film when you come out from watching it thinking “this is actually better or close to the same level as the video game for me” — but I totally did not think that when I came out from watching this film. I saw the first one when it came out in cinemas and didn’t really enjoy it…due to how not scary I thought it was. The second one is slightly scarier and at least attempts to have some good kills…but all of them just felt half assed. And I just can’t get behind why make this franchise somehow PG catered towards kids when the lore and games are disturbing. There’s also something so scarier about playing the games and actually first hand experiencing what’s happening in front of you…just a great example of why to play the games over watch the movies which for this franchise I would take 100% of the time. Obviously critics hated both the first and second fnaf movie, and audiences/fans either enjoyed or loved them. I just hate the current talk around this film with people saying these movies are just for the fans…and yes I can understand that…but as a semi fan what I would want from this movie would be some fan service but just ultimately a great crafted movie. I think some passionate fans forget about what makes a movie good…and they see a certain Easter egg or character reveal and that’s enough to get them to praise this movie to the end of the earth. I just simply think when carrying video game movies, the thought process in making them should be…lay the groundwork of a genuinely amazing movie and just sprinkle in some fan service here and there. But unfortunately with a lot of video game adaptions especially this one… that’s not the case. Another thing I do think is how much of a fan of the game you actually are…my rating sort of indicates that…I’m not a basic fan but I’m not a die hard one…I won’t discredit a super fan for loving this movie …but I just don’t want them to forget about everything else…maybe because the post credit scene wowed their socks off. Anyways, my positives I took from the film would be the designs of all the animatronics, and there were a lot of parts from the games which I loved. The post credit scene was awesome which still makes me somewhat curious about the third movie even if I haven’t loved these first two movies. The film has some genuinely funny jokes I will admit… and Megan fox as Toy Chica was such a standout for me, here voice perfectly fit the character. There are also a couple nods to the games sprinkled throughout that worked quite well. Now here’s where my issues really start. I just did not like the plot they went with for this second movie…and don’t really understand why we’ve got these animatronics in the real world, it just didn’t work for me. The whole science fair and fazfest stuff I couldn’t care less for…and they try to give Abby emotional clarity with these animatronics but I again just couldn’t care less. That’s main issue I have across both films, is that I don’t care for any of the characters really and it’s because at times they don’t try and give us emotional stability and at times they give out way too much to make it feel stereotypical. Speaking of stereotypical…I don’t love moments in the film that felt like that…a bit basic. When Michael Afton is revealed to be “continuing his father legacy” it all just get too gimmicky…and that avengers endgame moment at the end was just like wtf are we doing… So may characters have so much plot armour …too may times we’re the characters about to lose…and something goes right to save the day…yay. That’s the sort of bad filmmaking I’m talking about…the superfans are willing to ignore all that because of the hidden details…which in my humble opinion is a bit one eyed. And to add onto that, in the second game a main part of it is that you use the security cameras right? And they don’t even touch or make any of the characters use them…it’s just dumb. It’s one of the most recognisable mechanics of the franchise, and leaving it out I think removed a lot of tension and identity the adaptation could’ve had. The acting is okay across the board…I just am generally not a fan of Josh Hutchersons acting ability…I think he’s fine but I kinda wish we had a more experienced and top tier actor as the main guy for a franchise like this. Skeet Ulchrich as Henry was kinda wasted in this film… and I absolutely hate that we are just repeating the same relationship beats between Mike and Vanessa…he trusts her then he doesn’t… just the same fuc#en shit. They did MatPat dirty…his voice didn’t sound a thing like him and he only got like 2 lines…kinda sad considering what he’s done for this franchise. Another thing I just couldn’t get behind was Charlotte’s motivation. I understood the opening scene and realised how shitty adults are in this universe, but because they didn't care for her she now just wanted to kill all those parents…it just seemed to plain and shallow for me to really get behind. Anyway, it’s definitely better than the first movie…because it slightly improves the mistakes with the first. I still probably only jumped once…and felt scared 2-3 times but it didn’t hold a candle to the creepiness of playing the games. From my perspective, the movie felt torn between appealing to young viewers and honouring the darker tone the franchise is known for. With a more cohesive story, more daring scares, and characters that felt like real people instead of plot devices, this could have been a much stronger sequel. So positives, would be designs of animatronics, funny jokes, post credit scene… a couple nods to the games… and as a semi-fan, this sits comfortably at a average rating for me— better than the first, but still nowhere near the unsettling brilliance of the games.