Look Back

i love art i love this movie i love the manga and i love oasis — i am fujino in a way that no matter how frustrating art is, i will always come running back to it. my peers have  always been painfully better than me, and i will obsess over that fact and try to improve to the point of plateau. i’ll improve then regress, i’ll love then i’ll hate, i’ll feel trapped then inspired— it’s a masochistic cycle that drives me to the point of insanity but it makes me feel so alive and i don’t think i can imagine art in any other way.  but at the same time, i’m kyomoto in a way that art has always been my everything and i have been drawing ever since i can remember. art has been there when i haven’t realized that friends were an option to make to keep myself going. social interaction has never been my thing but i think i can say that i am trying to improve that aspect of myself. i want other people to know me by what i create, but i fear being perceived. i yearn for people to remember my name, but at the same time, doesn’t that sound terrifying? my existence in itself is a contradictory, i’m afraid perhaps i’m actually tatsuki fujimoto,,,?