After Life

This movie feels like someone giving me a big hug and whispering in my ear "you'll be ok." I'm gonna get really vulnerable in this review, just a heads up. I have a massive fear of failure. For some reason, I have extremely high expectations for myself, and I exhaust myself chasing a success I can't even define. I guess I feel like I have a lot to offer the world, and nothing scares me more than not seeing that to fruition. It's not a fear of death, it's a fear that life isn't going to be what I hoped it would be. I've been grappling with this fear for my entire adult life, and while I've been able to give myself a bit more grace recently, it's hard. It's hard to think about. After Life took a seat across from me and said "what are you afraid of happening?" "I'm afraid of being someone who hasn't accomplished anything, someone who peaked as a teenager." "You're not gonna let that happen, are you?" "Not a shot in hell." "Then you're gonna be okay." "How do you know that?" "Because when you look back at your life, you won't think of all the amazing things you bought or the accolades you achieved, you'll be thinking about the people you loved and the people you changed." "..." "You've already found your people, your friends that will be by your side no matter what happens... you've already found your success. All that comes now is dressing." I feel so stupid in hindsight. I know I shouldn't, that fear is valid, but I do. More than anything though, this movie will always be there to remind me of just that. It reminded me that no matter what kind of career success I achieve or don't achieve, I'm lucky enough to have found a family in this life. My "one memory" won't be of getting an award, it would be of me going on a walk with my friends over by the Flying Saucer in Coppell and talking about how far we've all come. So thanks movie. I'm not gonna say you rid me of that fear, but you gave me perspective, and that's invaluable. Simultaneously, this movie made me realize how badly I need to create something. The idea that you could create something that stick with someone, even yourself, for the rest of your life is too magnificent for me to leave in my dreams. This film is a masterclass in showing just how magical even the simplest things can be, and how even the shortest scenes can be something you choose to be with forever. After Life simultaneously motivated me like I've never been motivated before while also letting me know that it'll be ok even if things don't pan out, which is simply magnificent. I wish nothing more for myself than to make something like this, to make something that makes someone feel like this, to make something that sticks with someone like this will stick with me. At the end of the day, though, I'll be okay no matter what happens. Thanks, Kore-Eda.