Look Back

"Art never saved anyone."Today marks the second time that I've watched this film, and goodness, it's just as beautiful as the first. Look Back was the first film to ever make me cry, the first time I've ever related to a story so genuinely, and it remains one of my favorites of all time. A central theme of the film is expressed in the title—to not Look Back on the past with anger, but to reflect on it and move forward; don't dwell on the past, be glad that it happened. What the film captures so well is how grief can narrow our vision. While Fujino blames herself for Kyomoto's fate, she fails to acknowledge that she was also responsible for the joy in her life. When Fujino rewrites the history of her and Kyomoto's lives, Kyomoto still eventually leaves her room, she goes off to art college—things that likely would not have happened without Fujino's influence. When you're drawing, with every little mistake, every larger mishap, you can go back and fix it. You can't change what happened in your life, or anyone else's for that matter.  This theme hits so hard because of the gentleness with which it's delivered. It's not lectured to you or presented as a lesson, but you're forced to see how one's grief manifests as this profoundly human want for control; to change things. Look Back understands the gravity of guilt, and how regret often feels safer than letting go.  It's difficult to properly put into words exactly how this film makes me feel. As someone who has suffered from chronic social anxiety their entire life, Kyomoto's story is as heartbreaking as it is heartwarming. Her simple sentiment to just try to go out into the world, to try to make it on her own, to try to make friends as the film reaches its climax is something that has taken me years to do myself. Kyomoto is so deeply relatable as a character; while not everyone may share her fears or anxiety, most can share that aspiration to just try.  “How on earth will you cope interacting with new people? You’re so shy you can’t even speak to the convenience store clerk.”This moment in their argument feels deeply tragic, because while it could be read as a cruel jab, it's truly Fujino's attempt at not losing the person that she's closest to. It hurts Fujino to say it, and it hurts Kyomoto to hear it, because it's something that they both know is true. They're both scared of loss. In short, Look Back is one of the greatest films that I've ever seen; from its deeply relatable characters to its heavy themes, I truthfully can find no faults. For this story, and everything it stirred in me, thank you, Tatsuki Fujimoto.