Aftersun
“Sophie, I love you very much. Never forget that. Dad - from the letter”
aftersun moved my soul in the most beautiful way possible, and i loved how the movie made me feel, in every single moment. the opening scene had got me completely immersed in the hazy yet melancholic atmosphere, when we get to see the fragments of Sophie’s childhood memories with her beloved father Calum flashing on the VHS tapes. the film beautifully captures the essence of a bittersweet nostalgia with such depth and subletly, as if it feels like I’m reflecting on my own pieces of memories as well while Sophie is doing so herself. the enigmatic, yet hauntingly tragic backstory of Calum being masked under the peaceful atmosphere of the vacation trip really sent chills down my spine. it is a contradictory image of how our parents always conceal the suffering they are going through and pretend to be alright on the surface, in order to protect the happiness and innocence of our childhood. seeing the pain that Calum exhaustingly battle through while trying his best to maintain the idealistic version of a father for Sophie really shattered me, and that being perceived through an innocent lens of a 11 year old is as equally heartbreaking. it is only until we’ve grown up and looking back that we can truly understand what was happening back then.
the direction from Charlotte Wells totally won my heart - to the point that if this plot is being executed differently I feel like it would not have the same profound and lasting effect on me. knowing that this is her directorial debut completely blew my mind. under her skillful guidance for the movie, everything from the acting to cinematography, choice of score and editing coordinates with each other so flawlessly - it is packed with such rich symbolism and nails the crucial aspect of filmmaking “show, don’t tell”. every single scene tells a story and screams the inner thought of the character, and even if you don’t fully grasp everything right away, you can still feel the emotions. i especially adore the camcorder footages and the way it lingers on all the small little moments: the sight, sound, smell - capturing each ticking seconds of life in such personal and beautifully quiet way. all the details are so subtle but once it hits, it will left you with nothing but a heavy heart. I’m writing a film analysis for myself since I am so in love with the way meaning are delicately revealed through each frame(it would be too long as a review), but here are the two scenes that still echoes in my mind and haunts me deeply (spoiler alert!)
-the scene where Calum dancing in a wearying and aimlessly manner at the rave is an indication of how he was pretending to be happy for so long in front of Sophie. the way adult Sophie screams “STOP” at Calum while he danced is her begging him to stop concealing his true feelings and putting on a mask to pretend. the rave scene initially start from just Calum dancing ordinarily, match cut to the “last dance” that he had with Sophie from the vacation, then slowly progress to him exhaustedly trying to move his body. it is an indication of how in mind adult Sophie still desperately hope that the father she sees during the reflection was still the optimistic father she knew during childhood, until it progressively gets darker and reveal the true version of Calum that she didn’t understand with the instinct of a child.
-when Calum asked Sophie to stop recording while she was asking him “when you were 11, what would you think you will be doing now?” literally speaks for the theme of the movie. Sophie records her dad’s answer through her little mind camera and not the actual camcorder, of how Calum have to go through an unfulfilled childhood contributing to the depression he’s currently suffering from. it shows how Calum fears the moment being recorded through the camcorder can be reviewed by Sophie when she grew up, and Calum does not want Sophie to know that side of him. memories on the other hand are unreliable, capturing that intimate yet sorrow moment through her little mind camera meaning that she will not be able to remember everything as vividly.
Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio, I am speechless about both of their wonderful performances in their role. their father-daughter relationship is unlike anything I’ve seen before and I truly admire them for putting in so much emotion and dedication to their characters. Paul Mescal as Calum with his heart touching illustration of a dad suffering from depression is demonstrated with such depth and authenticity - the way he let all the heaviness in his body out through tears and was unable to maintain his breath stable was almost unbearable for me to watch. every single moment, he remained strong, pouring his love and deepest care into Sophie even as he silently battled his own pain. Frankie Corio also demonstrate the purity and naivety of 11 year old Sophie brilliantly, the kindness and admiration she has for her dad warms my soul, she is such a ray of sunshine and is the sole reason that Calum is trying to stay longer.
I regret watching this movie while I was outside, cause it had me in tears for the whole day, I’ve never cried this hard to a movie in such a long time. I have seen this movie since the 17th of Feb, but there was just so much emotion to process and details to make sense of before I can complete writing my review - it is clear that this movie had left such a strong impact on me. I did a rewatch today to pick up on some details that I might have missed on the first watch, and I have so many more to write but I think I will go on forever so I will leave it here. I love Aftersun with my whole heart and soul<3
well now I guess I will have to explain to people why I kept crying while Under Pressure plays