Beautiful Boy

“Have you seen my beautiful boy? Tell him I miss him.” I don’t even know where to start. I feel like someone reached into my chest, took my heart out, and just left it like that. (Maybe I’m over exaggerating but you get what I mean) Timothée Chalamet… listen. I know I used to have the biggest crush on him, but this isn’t about that anymore. This is about him making me feel things I didn’t even have words for. He literally became Nic in my eyes. The pain, the confusion, the shame, the craving for something, anything, that makes the world quieter. I felt it. Every second of it. And David? God. Watching a father try to save a son who’s slowly slipping away while still calling him “my beautiful boy” broke something in me. When he told Nic his siblings miss him and Nic took it as guilt-tripping… I understood both of them. David just wanted Nic to see, but Nic didn’t want to face that his pain hurts others too. And as the oldest sibling… yeah. I felt that in my bones. When Nic said his family would give him strength, I was hoping David would agree, but he didn’t and that’s okay. Because love helps but in the end it’s still you who has to crawl out of the darkness. Also: David singing “Beautiful Boy” to him. The text. The flashbacks. The journal entries. David taking down Nic’s pictures?! No one talk to me.   And all this for my sister to call the movie overrated. Yeah okay, sorry you don’t have the emotional media literacy to comprehend the layers of pain, love and loss, addiction, hope and helplessness this film was actually about. (She thinks it’s simply a movie for PSA on addiction) Anyway, I’ll be laying on my floor staring at the ceiling for the next 6–8 business days. Possibly more.