Red One
It seems like I rate movies very generously, but my process is this:
1. Every movie starts with 5 stars because I think all movies have the potential to be perfect.
2. Half a star gets docked for each significant plot hole, poorly written dialogue, subpar acting, or just a weird/bad vibe.
3. Rethink my rating a couple days later, have "critic's regret", buuuut end up standing by my original rating anyway. cough we live in time cough
I had zero expectations for Red One, but anticipated giving it 3 stars max. HOWEVER, it was entertaining, unexpected, and genuinely funny!!! The rewatchability is high because of all the "easter eggs" and full circle-ness of the plot, so I'm sure that a second watch would garner greater appreciation for the writing and storyline. I also thought the moral of the story was cliche, but not cringey.
I docked half a star for casting. Like yeah Dylan's just a kid, but bro there are so many more talented kids who would actually look related to Chris Evans and his movie ex who can ACT. I also don't understand the casting choice of Kiernan Shipka as Gryla. I would've preferred a stereotypical "old" witch who was the same age as Nick. Don't know why these bothered me more than it should've, but oh well.
The other half a star was removed because why was it so "easy" for Santa to get kidnapped? Why doesn't Nick have a tracker or communicator on him? How did he disappear without immediate commotion? How did the ELF team get overpowered by some trolls? Why doesn't the North Pole have a dome security alert system like Wakanda? Were they solely relying on the fact that they were untraceable?
Other miscellaneous thoughts:
• JK Simmons got paid millions to sleep for 50% of his screen time. • LOVED the Christmas delivery montage. • The incorporation of non-Santa related Christmas lore was original and well thought of. • Chris Evans' Boston accent.• Saint Nick on my hear me out cake? Maybe?