Parker

"The kids have gone fucking crazy." 🫪 "This one?" Yeah, maybe because it's the only tree with fresh dirt and a fucking ice cream nailed to it. Pmo some more.  Called the priest immediately. The "twist" was about as surprising as the credits. Literally so bad The AI slop is insane. 🥀  I've seen better CGI in Sharknado. Gore carried this entire film half star for that. When I saw this quick preview months ago I wanted to like this so bad bro.

The first 20 minutes were complete shit. I genuinely almost walked out. Then the gym scene happened and HOLY HELL. The gore was sick af. As soon as I saw the Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey soundtrack I checked Letterboxd and of course it's the same director. 😭 like i knew it was but it didn’t hit me till then.  Richard Brake automatically makes a movie better. But Pinocchio saying, "She cut her penis off... what the hell?" killed me. Ooo la la  The story was whatever. The gore and Dudley carried this movie. RIP Dudley though... absolutely insane seeing a kid get one pumped up close.

WOW. Bringing back all the Spider Men especially MY MAN TOBY, and all the villains was absolutely perfection. The nostalgia. This was such a good call back. Killing aunt may I fucking knew was coming for the plot. Every other Spider man lost someone close. But damnit why can’t we just keep one good thing.

“I wanted your friendship” “I’m sorry Cletus” “FUCK THIS GUY” 💀 that made me laugh.  These two really went to hell and back together such a cute couple.