maria

*“i don’t think it was a sin, because it didn’t feel like a sin. it felt like i’m supposed to feel.”* unrequited love has such a deep meaning in this film, and in the form of both sexuality and religion, i felt *everything*. having to repent for loving another person and wanting to feel intimacy is so upsetting—you give up your whole life to someone you’re not even entirely sure is real, and you’re punished for having found the slightest ounce of comfort that isn’t from God. i have deep respect for all the women who had to go through this absolute bullshit of a ritual just to become full-fledged nuns who aren’t even treated equally, as opposed to all the men in the church. also, a queer 17-year-old who has religious guilt, wow, where have i heard that before!

*“probably would’ve killed myself if it wasn’t for kayla”* *“you protect the people that you love”*