Dìdi (弟弟)

Rarely do I find a movie that feels like it’s reaching into the very fabric of my upbringing, but Didi did just that. I have seen many praise this film for its portrayal of the Asian-American family dynamic, what hit me the hardest was how much I related to it as a Brazilian-American whose parents were immigrants. This movie isn’t just a coming of age age story; it’s a mirror for anyone who grew up feeling the pressure to be perfect, to fit into a culture that isn’t quite yours, and to live up to expectations that feel unattainable. Like the hundreds of other reviews, the films ability to capture that awkward, late 2000s emo/punk era was spot on. From the Paramore album to the silly middle school crushes, it felt like I was watching memories of my own life. I grew up watching stupid YouTube videos, drowning myself in pop punk music, and trying to navigate a world where I didn’t feel like I belonged in. Didi’s internal struggle to balance his American identity with his Asian heritage resonated with my own experience of rejecting my Brazilian side wishing I could just be “American” enough to fit in. There were so many scenes that really resonated with me. One scene that hit me harder than I expected was the one where Didi and his mom are arguing in the car and she’s shouting in their native language while he replies only in English. That was my life. The constant tug of war between wanting to fit in and feeling like you’re turning your back on where you came from. I spent years rebuking my Portuguese, avoiding anything that would mark me as “different” in an attempt to erase the part of me that was Brazilian. And that shame, that sense of not being enough. Whether it’s for your parents, for society, or even for yourself, is something this movie captured beautifully. What made this movie even more emotionally intense for me was how deeply I related to almost everyone in Didi’s family. The moment when Didi’s mom finally gets a compliment on her art from Didi’s friends and her eyes light up? that broke me. As someone who desperately wants to be seen and recognized for my creative work, it hurt to watch her live in a home where she feels invisible. And at the same time, I saw myself in Didi, who never appreciated his mom’s sacrifices or talents until it was too late. It made me reflect on my own relationship with my mom who worked so hard to feed our family, yet I rarely stopped to appreciate her as a person. And then there’s Vivian, Didi’s older sister. The scene where Didi yells at her, “Why are you always so mean to me?! I hate you!,” hit especially hard. As the older sister of two younger siblings, I know I was mean when we were younger, and I’m sure my sister felt exactly like Didi did in that moment. Watching Vivian leave for college, and seeing Didi walk into her empty room, brought me back to when I left my siblings behind for school, knowing they saw me as more of a mother figure than our parents, who were always working. That whole dynamic of siblings and the emotional weight of family hit so close to home for me. Didi’s passion for filmmaking, the pride his mom felt when she talked about him becoming a big filmmaker, it all struck a chord with me as a filmmaker myself. There’s so much in this movie that I related to, from the cultural clashes to the family pressures to the creative dreams. Even though this is an Asian immigrant story, I think so many people from immigrant families, no matter their background, will feel seen by this film. I know I’m already a big crybaby but Didi completely broke me. The way Chris Wang navigates his identity, his suppressed emotions, and the pressure to live up to his family’s expectations felt like an emotional gut punch. On top of that he’s trying to figure out friendships and relationships at such a young age, which is hard enough on its own. The scene where he YouTubes how to kiss and practices on fruit really struck a chord with me. And when Didi’s love interest tells him he’s “cute for an Asian,” it hit me hard too. As someone who’s been told by American crushes that I’m “cute for a brown skinned girl.” I know all too well the sting of those backhanded compliments. It brought me right back to 8th grade when not only was I trying to figure out my own feelings and struggles, but so was everyone else around me. While this is a film about the Asian-American experience, it spoke to the universal immigrant experience. The pressure, the shame, and the yearning to be something other than what you are, only to realize how deeply that identity is woven into you. This film is a time capsule of my own teenage years and an exploration of identity that I didn’t know I needed. It’s up there with Perks of Being a Wallflower, but while I related to Perks for its exploration of childhood hidden traumas, Didi spoke to everything else. It’s a gem that I’ll be thinking about for a long time. <3 Truly my favorite film of 2024. All Time Favs.