Arianna Hope

My top quotes from this comfort movie I will never stop referencing everyday: “I dont understand fishing metaphors!”  “Billy just play dead!” “SWALLOW FALLS FOREVER!” “FLINT LOCKWOOOOD. I got my eye. on. YOU. ” “Strawberry is my favorite 😃” “FOUR EYES FOUR EYES YOU NEED GLASSES TO SEEEEEEEE”

This movie was recorded on my DVR and stayed that way until we got rid of cable. This movie is childhood. My Bethany Hamilton phase was so strong. And then I forgot all about it after all this time. (except for a few songs from the movie I regularly jam to) And it still holds up pretty well as a film. Definitely warm fuzzies from childhood.

I will defend this movie prob til I die. It gets better with every rewatch.  Two broken people who desire to receive and express their deepest needs in strange ways that the rest of the world is averse to (especially in this time period) find each other and get the chance to finally be happy and complete with one another. Lee is damaged. An infantilized young woman trapped in the body of a child. No clue, no trajectory and no self trust and no idea how to fit in with society. A young woman who self harms to distract and comfort her from a broken home that gives her no true care and attention where no one who truly sees her and takes care of her in the ways she needs. Her first few lines that open the film are her inner thoughts about being reluctant to leave the institution and the expectations she had while inside. Sheltered and protected. She needs structure, order, discipline and a guided routine that is simple. Like typing, printing, filing—the “very dull work” she likes and is able to do to fulfill her. Mr. Grey needs control. He needs a purpose. He needs to be needed. Something, or someone, to take care of and he constantly exercises to expel that pent up…energy (honestly don't have another word for it bro’s a freak) His elaborate orchid garden allows him to be in control of something growing, changing and flourishing under his hand. Orchids are just as beautiful as any other flower, but they require intense, meticulous care and special TLC not every casual gardner is willing and able to provide. With the right owner who deeply cares and is willing to put in extra work, the orchids will bloom, thrive, and live for decades. Lee is his orchid. (The phone role play scene is my second favorite in the whole movie because of this)  And like yeah, it’s kinky. Fork found in kitchen. But the way the film portrays BDSM as something that helps the characters express their deeper needs is more purposeful and tasteful than any superfluous and pandering shock factor bullshit in 50 Shades. And for such a kinky movie, we get 1 “sex” scene with Lee and Peter perfectly showcasing…him as a specimen. And a quick cut to the honeymoon for a whopping 3 seconds. Other than that, we actually have a very erotic movie that doesn’t show anything graphic and portrays sexual energy as artistic, passionate and deeply intrinsic to the body and soul. As Lee gets off on the memories of him giving her strict routine and limitations, she orgasms to blooming the orchid-floral imagery. The only nudity is at the end and it’s only because it’s a slow, intimate, and tasteful montage of him bathing her, cleaning her, and gently praising her body, kissing all her scars of self harm. Healing her. And he lays her on his garden, with the mist and flowers. “For the first time in my life I felt beautiful…I touched the soil and he loved me back.” Omfg it’s just so so beautiful grrraaaah.  Alas (poor yorick), there’s also lots of sexual negatives—BUT the film is fully aware they are wrong and drive the dramatic conflict. His first attempts at correcting her, insulting the way she dresses, her speech, her sniffling reflex. It’s compulsion for him. He’s fascinated by it and is obsessed with it, that he has to repel it and call it out to get a hold on it. Like an urge or tick. It’s not respectful or romantic, but in a roundabout way to a broken woman, it’s what she wants and needs. His harshness and intensity that he eventually learns to handle is the perfect complement to her wispy, quiet, meek demeanor. Yes, he jorks it on her. Doing a bop it, twist it, pull it on her and discomforting her so badly she cries and runs away after. No bueno. And they realizes boundaries when it’s too late. As she slowly grows without him and he becomes jealous of Peter, he punishes her out of his own insecurity. Severes the relationship because being in control of her makes him lose control over himself while he’s at work with important people and maybe he potentially realized he was hurting her potential growth by pulling her away from Peter. He realizes he needs her and she needs him and he thinks she’s moved on. Until the end he realizes she’s devoted to him entirely and he rescues her and never leaves her again.  There’s probably many things I’m forgetting, but it definitely stands as one of my favorite arthouse films of all time. The potential good story telling has in film mediums. A DAMN GOOD screenplay. Damn good actors. It’s a treat for the weird folks, the artists and anyone willing to look past initial preconceptions about “normalcy” for a well rounded, symbolic, and entertaining story.  I will read the book soon, because I want to see the parallels and if there’s any differences or more immersion with Lee’s narration.

Second time around was significantly more enjoyable. So many dots get connected and honestly Emerald Fennel deserves more credit for this. The design is incredible with the aesthetics, imagery, symbolism, color palette it’s all just chef’s kiss to me. Because of how great the writing is, I still stand by my same opinion the ending should’ve left out the flashback montage during the confession since the movie has already been written with a smart audience in mind. Should’ve trusted the audience was smart enough to put the dots together by the confession scene alone and it would’ve been more tasteful not to have to spell it out. (It’s so hard to do a review without spoilers lol) It’s art in every scene of beautiful people doing grotesque things in decorative spaces. Aristocracy plus ritual plus bodies plus excess. A sumptuous banquet where somebody should really ask what is in the pie. Anyway, much happier on the rewatch, tempted to give it a 4 and a half or 5 even for me personally all things considered but it is quite the little freakshow. Yknow fork found in kitchen, and i can’t be caught trying to defend myself about the cum cocktail like “no guys really its deeper than that like its sexuality as a major metaphor and conveys atmospheric depravity of the wealthy” like no its just fucked up and I can’t be caught liking it