Rory

> ***Dear Lee, this is disgusting. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this.*** Started: May 3 Finished: May 12 *Purple: royalty, rarity, luxury, ambition, magic, mystery, piety, and spirituality. * *Pink symbolizes femininity, but prior to the second half of the 20th century, it symbolized masculinity. * *Blue: harmony, faithfulness, confidence, distance, infinity, imagination, cold, sadness, masculinity, intelligence, knowledge, calm, concentration * *Red: communism, socialism, sacrifice, danger, courage, heat, activity, passion, sexuality, anger, love, joy, happiness, good fortune, war, sin, seduction * Lee suppresses her feelings and tears through self harm, as it is her coping mechanism. In the pool scene, she has on a blue swimsuit while floating in the water, I interpreted this as trapped and floating in sorrow. Eventually, Lee begins to feel affection or care towards Mr. Grey, going out of her way to bring him donuts when he didn’t ask for them. I believe she immediately gets “attached” to him due to how isolated she’s been and her dysfunctional household. Meanwhile, Mr. Grey throws the donuts away, I concluded that he did this to suppress his feelings. Later, he informs Ms. Holloway that he may have thrown away documents for a case, where she unexpectedly concludes he wants her to look through the garbage. As Mr. Grey watches her go through the trash, it seems he gets a surge of dopamine, seeing her do “anything” for him and looking for the missing documents with ease. He helps her bloom. > ***“You’re a big girl. You can get a much bigger voice out of that tiny throat of yours.”*** He encourages her to discuss her problems with him. > ***“Why do you cut yourself, Lee?”*** > ”***I don’t know.”*** > ***“Is it that sometimes the pain inside has to come to the surface, and when you see evidence of the pain inside, you finally know you are really here? Then, when you watch the wound heal, it’s comforting. Isn’t it?”*** *BDSM: a consensual set of practices that include bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism* * * Lee doesn’t question him slapping her ass and gains delight from his words. “Good letter.” The usual purple outfits shift to professional, often black and white ones. Lee ultimately gains the courage to throw away the sewing kit, notably in water, signifying her release from misery. > *If you want a lover* > *I’ll do anything you ask me to do* > *I’m Your Man - Leonard Cohen* While Lee is touching herself in her purple room, she imagines herself with Mr. Grey and Peter. With Mr. Grey, she’s in a “mature” outfit, her hair is in a bun, and they only embrace each other. Meanwhile, when she imagines herself with Peter, you can see them kissing, and her hair is styled in pigtails. *Worms symbolize death, renewal, and decay.* *“The worms are symbols of negative forces within ourselves, [of] decay. The worms can only get at us because there isn’t light or whatever in our lives.” - Roger Waters* > ***“Most people think that the best way to live is to run from pain. But a much more joyful life embraces the entire spectrum of human feeling. If we can fully experience pain, as well as pleasure, we can live a much deeper and more meaningful life.”*** I adore when he carries her and bathes her. > ***“Each cut, each scar, each burn, a different mood or time. I told him what the first one was. I told him where the second one came from. I remembered them all. And for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. Finally part of the earth. I touched the soil, and he loved me back.”*** I love when her body is displayed, showing all her scars, while he caresses her, simply beautiful. *Purple Orchids: dignity, respect, admiration, royalty, wealth, class* * * *Red Roses: love, passion, courage, respect * * * Is Lee purple and Edward red? Or is Edward purple and Lee red?