george

needed more candles

I struggle with my purpose a lot. I know I should go to uni, but I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what job I want, I don’t know what I’m going to do as soon as I don’t have to do anything. I constantly fear I’m not doing what I want to do, but rather what I think I should do, and for that reason when I watched Persona I saw myself in Elizabet - who chose to have a son out of obligation, since other people wanted her to appear ‘motherly’ in order to be the perfect woman. I think her silence represents a common feeling I and other people who struggle with mental health have, a desire to self destruct, to not talk to anyone and just give up. We’re constantly shown in Persona how fragile our sense of self is, it really doesn’t take much for two people to become one, and again while that’s exaggeration, I have on many occasions felt as if I’m ‘running through the motions’, the same as everyone else around me, and to that extent is the ‘fusion’ so unrealistic? I don’t know if it’s the everlasting abundance of these issues, or maybe Bergman is simply the greatest director to do it, but I found it incredible how I could sit in the early hours of the morning, watching a 60 year old black and white Swedish movie, and think it was about me.

they really just ruined bruce’s life

PUT THE TONGUE AWAY