Happy Together

yeah......wanting them to go and never wanting them to leave. it's loving someone when you're not sure what else there is to feel. it's cooking for them when you're sick yourself. stealing their passport so they can never leave. your happiest days are when the other person can't speak. when you dance and no words can escape you. to feel jealousy and to feel nothing at all. calling again and starting over and starting over until your apartment is destroyed. bringing them food only to have them throw it away. it's leaving. it's leaving only to call again. and when they move on, it's to move into their old apartment. the apartment you destroyed, that you left and that you never wanted to enter again. it's repeating what they did. to mourn them. to act like they're still there. maybe they're still outside, buying cigarettes. maybe they're cooking dinner. maybe they're cheating. who cares. at least, they could still be here. the lamp is still there. maybe you can still visit that waterfall together. (and when they visit on their own, water running down their face, it's saying: we should've been here together.)