Morvern Callar

my frist christmas moving to the city, I got pneumonia, my entire apartment flooded and I was going back and forth between lucid and incoherent, aswell as my apartment and an airbnb carrying giant garbage bags full of clothes and travelling on empty subways early in the morning. I felt so alone, so sick. I felt like I was greiving a very long period of my life where my life was waking up eating and then dissociating on the floor underneath my small ikea desk until I sslept. A isolating cold life I left back in my small town. In the airbnb they had a very deep tub where I would just take scalding hot baths to feel anything. To some degree this movie encapsulates to me this feeling. When I got back I was stepping around what felt like a husk of what my floors were and the tiles that were coming up. I feel those quiet times of cleaning and burning pizzas I feel the not wanting to do anything about it.