Ritual
“But that is the way of the world. Each of us fears its absurdity and curses it. And yet, the world is immeasurably vast, and gentleness, mercy and empathy linger in our hearts.”
One of the best depictions of depression, loneliness, and existentialism. After a big family move years ago, I grew more and more emotionally detached not just from the friendships I have made and still cherish, but from the world surrounding me. No matter how many times I’d distract myself with music, social media, or video games, that feeling never went away. All of this was further worsened when I was recently diagnosed with a life-shattering chronic illness. It has added additional frustration, isolation, and a desire to be heard and understood, even though my calls to do so were always answered by those who would never be able to stand in my shoes.
Thrice Upon a Time brought me a spark of home when I needed it the most, and Ritual tells you to live. Searching for a sign to keep going can be hard, but it is important to focus on today, even if it’s just the mundane. Despite her eccentricities, she is one of the most sympathetic characters ever put to screen. Her desire to find purpose in life, to stop lingering on and move past her past mistakes and trauma, and to live, is one that transcends labels and barriers. Our souls, shattered yet beautiful, can never be truly perfect, but we cannot let our faults define them.
I'm still trying to rebuild my shattered life and find freedom. I believe it gets better. I’ll keep pushing myself to make that happen. I am starting to feel stronger, mentally and physically, more than I have before. And I am doing my best.
My heart says that I’m ok.