Hamnet

I cried so much. This film is simply unbelievable. I have never cried like this before, I have never felt anything like this after a movie. During the quiet moments, you could hear people around the theater softly sniffling and sobbing. I didn’t cry while the film was playing - but when it ended, when the lights came on and people started to get up, I just stayed in my seat and broke down. I wanted to cry out loud, to sob uncontrollably. Everything inside me ached with pain. I sat there with my eyes closed, full of tears, making these raw, guttural sounds of grief. My friend was already telling me, “Nursaule, maybe we should go,” crying too - and I just couldn’t move. I simply sat there and cried. We went to the restroom, and when I looked at myself in the mirror, my mascara was all over my cheeks and my eyes were completely red. This is the most emotionally powerful film I have ever seen. I added it to my four favorites instantly. It might be the best film I’ve ever watched. I loved it beyond words. I don’t think I’ll ever watch it a second time. Or maybe I will - but not for years. I’m not emotionally ready for that. It was so overwhelming and so beautiful. I think I don’t want to watch it again because I’m afraid I won’t feel the same way, won’t experience those emotions again. I want this first, unbelievable impression to stay untouched in my memory - that absolute happiness of realizing how beautiful art can be. How delicately art can hold all the pain you pour into it, and how that pain can then be shared with others. That might be the most beautiful thing of all, and that’s exactly why I love art.  I already miss that memory of leaving the cinema and driving home through Dubai at night. Bathed in warm streetlights, I was looking out the window and rambling to my friend about the beauty and power of cinema. That evening, I truly felt what movies are capable of. Cinema feels like the most all-encompassing art form, because it can hold everything inside it: painting, music, drama, dance, performance - all of it. A film is truly great if it makes you think about this. And I’m afraid to watch it again, because I want to remember this film exactly as I experienced it the first time - magical, fleeting, and unbearably beautiful.