First Reformed

There are very few characters in film who I relate to more than Reverend Toller. From small details like his military background, to bigger plot points like his eventual struggle with faith and a feeling of hopelessness regarding the looming climate crisis, I feel fully immersed in the plight of the Reverend. I think that’s why I loved this movie so much on my first watch and opted to rate it 5 stars. Tonight, I decided to revisit the film to see if I had been overzealous in my initial rating, and to attempt to better understand the deeper subtext within this masterpiece.  Reverend Toller feels lost in the sea of life. He was in the military, but he feels no connection to the service after the death of his son. His marriage fell apart, leaving him feeling empty and without purpose in life. He found comfort and community in the church, but even that begins to waver as he starts to question his faith. He wonders if the will of God and the will of the church are as correlated as he has tried to make himself believe. And in this dark hole of loss and despair, his body begins to give out to illness. In order to try and take control over his life, he finds a new sense of drive and passion in fantasies of violent environmental activism.  These causes which the Reverend has chosen at different times to fully devote himself to do not particularly need him as a champion. Whatever actions he takes will be no more than a drop in the bucket towards a potential solution to any of these problems. I believe he realizes this when he sees Mary walk into the church he is ready to detonate a suicide vest in. In sacrificing himself to help a cause he may believe in, he will only end up hurting those closest to him.  This is why he decides to wrap himself in barbed wire and drink the glass of drain cleaner in the end. I absolutely believe he dies for several reasons (there’s no way Mary could have gotten in that door, it was shown to be locked. Also, the only camera shots in this movie with dynamic movement are those which take place inside the Reverend’s mind. Additionally, the abrupt cut to black seals the deal). However, does this ending really fit the message of the film? I find that message to be that despair and loneliness leads to ideological extremism, which ends poorly for everyone involved. But even when the Reverend realizes this in the end and abandons his violent martyrdom, he still ends up dead. Maybe the message is that there is no hope, and our only escape from the woes of this world is death itself. But maybe, just maybe, I’m wrong. It’s possible Reverend Toller changes his mind at the last minute and lives out the rest of his days with a new love and a renewed passion for life. This changes the interpretation of the film from a warning of the crushing weight of despair to one of the healing power of hope. That’s what makes this film interesting, not just the ambiguous ending, but also the complex themes that have to be digested long after the credits roll. Hats off to the entire cast and crew, it’s criminal that Ethan Hawke didn’t win best actor for this. I think the aspect ratio, bleak color grading, and lack of a real soundtrack really fit the feel of the movie. Sorry for accidentally writing a whole novel here, this is definitely the longest Letterboxd review I’ve ever written. This is my favorite religious movie I’ve seen, and I’ll be revisiting it again some day down the line. Until then, I will be washing myself in the blood of the lamb.  Title card rating: 7/10