Demolition

okay, i will admit, I'm a bit obsessed with this movie. If you asked me why, I couldn't give you one specific answer. But, I think that I'm the exact demographic this film was made for. This movie is about grief. This movie is about depression. It's about numbness, and trying desperately to feel something. it's about feeling everything all at once, and you can't sort through any of the emotions to just feel one at a time. It's about hurt so bone-achingly deep, you wish you were dead just so the pain would stop. But, it's also about recovery. And it's about self-discovery, or re-discovery. It's about accepting yourself where you are, for who you are, and if you don't like who that person is, accepting them, forgiving them, and vowing to be better. Anyone who's experienced depression knows that recovery is not linear. It moves up, backwards, diagonally. Sometimes it moves so slow it feels like you're standing completely still. All you want is to destroy, to tear the pillars down, to smash the mirror that you're staring into because you want so fucking badly to feel something other than numbness or hurt. It's about finding someone who will hold your hand through the darkness. Maybe that person is in darkness themselves, but it's okay because you're walking through it together. It's about wanting and working to become a better person for them and for yourself. It's about overcoming the urge to destroy and turn it into the urge to create. To make the sadness and random unfairness of life matter. To make the pain count. To make it all worth it. When Davis destroys the house (in his own words "tearing apart my marriage"), he is searching for control. His life is in free fall--this so-called perfect life he sold himself on, has rung out hollow. He is searching for a sense of self. Some sort of purpose. He is angry with himself for not "taking care of the love"--in essence, being the architect of his own unhappiness. There is nothing for him to control, and his only outlet is tearing the house to its foundations. To break himself open and scoop out the rot. Why? he asks himself throughout this entire film. And what is the answer to his why?. It's hidden in the notes his wife left him, rediscovered in the exhalation of sunlight through clouds. It's forgiveness. It's the decision to get well. So, that's why I love this movie.