Aftersun

I love how this film subtly conveys an important message that depression and misery can be so deep-rooted that even those who are closest might overlook the signs. I love how there are no dialogues that explicitly explain the situation; rather, they present scenes that viewers can tell what is truly happening. For example, there is a scene at the end of the film where Calum goes back into the rave, implying that he is unable to flee from the suffering and the internal chaos in his mind, which ultimately driving him toward suicide. As a person who deals with depression, Paul’s potrayal of a mentally ill character often makes me feel as though I can relate to him. I’m sure that there are a lot of actors that did great on their performance, but I don’t know, something about Paul potraying a mentally ill character really shaped in a precise feeling I’ve ever felt, like there is this intimate details of suffering he acted that makes me want to throw up, as I can see myself reflected in him. However, in this film, I can see how Calum kinda looks like my dad, in some way. The way Calum always tries to make any efforts for his daughter despite being struggling with everything. I played Under Pressure by Queen & David Bowie over and over on my way back home with my dad after I watched this movie in my best friend's house. I'm secretly weeping, felt drawn into the final scene where Calum and Sophie danced to this song. And also secretly hope that I could have a deep, heartfelt, and open conversation with my dad just the same way Calum and Sophie had.