The Yaoi Whisperer

***Just a hot ass mess***. Every time i watch this all i can think about is the fact Charlie lowkenuinley a lil bitch for his switch up, tbh. A real nigga like me, if i bagged Emma, & she told me this, I’m standing 10 toes that my woman did absolutely **NOTHING** **wrong**! ON BRO! (Cause I’m not fumbling) **Also i still find it so insane that Emma is the only person WHO DIDN’T actually go through with the worst thing she’s ever done (not to mention she has literally paid the price effecting her life FOREVER with her hearing) for even having that horrible thought, she lives with the repercussions of her actions & the memory of what she ALMOST did everyday, but through community she reformed herself & became a much better & empathetic person then her hurt, lonely, & sadistic 15 year old self. Charlie deadass bullied a kid so badly, HIM & HIS WHOLE FAMILY moved. (THEN HE FUCKED CHEATED?!?!?) Rachel locked a younger disabled/special needs child in a closet in the woods & LEFT HIM THERE. Like??? Also OMGGGGGG FUCK RACHEL. Idk i think everyone is sooo hypocritical in this movie; the only person shown to actually have a brain & manages to think for themselves IS EMMA, & the entire movie she’s scrutinized. Just a mess.

A bittersweet ending to a show with such vast potential. I can confidently say, I will miss & mourn TADC. Despite it’s flaws (both within the show & outside the show +controversies) I am still so fond of it. I found solace in it; *community, representation, **humanity***. While I know a lot of viewers feel indifferent, displeased or unsatisfied with the sole focus of this finale episode being centered around Jax—feeling there’s still so much unknown about our other inhabitants of the circus, or that things were simply glossed over, or rushed, I feel multiple things can be true at once. *You can feel that,* ***but* you also have to acknowledge Jax’s importance**. Jax has always been centered & established as our troubled & dickish “comedic relief” character & has always been written with a level of obvious foreshown importance (alongside Pomni) since the beginning. > His character feeds off of hers. Vice versa for Pomni. They feed each other. Their dynamic is one of the most prominent plot lines of the overall story. Pomni being dropped into the circus: asking all of her questions, having a moral compass, being outwardly defiant & multifaceted & layered showcasing numerous emotions; being compassionate, skeptical, angry, curious, fearful, vulnerable, **human**.. She doesn’t just accept things for what they are, & that challenges Jax. Jax who has lived & inhabited the circus for all this time has grown into a shell of how he believes he is perceived by the others. If everyone already sees him as an irredeemable asshole, why bother being anything else? *He is traumatized, riddled with guilt, & actively hurting*—his only way of coping?? **Masking & Saving face**. Pomni immediately gets into his head, pries at him, gets under his skin, causes him to finally start to open up again (which he hasn’t done since Ribbit) it freaks him out. He deflects, lashes out, & intentionally hurts Pomni after an entire day of bonding, & teaching her that life in the circus isn’t so black & white. The blowout floors her, it hurts her, because she sees something within him. Perhaps a level of familiarity, realizing he’s more than just the caricature he presents himself to be, but in way also like her. Like I said before their dynamics, ***feed each other***. *One giveth, the other taketh away. * In the end that is why I think the finale centering him makes sense & her being the one to be with him, *****the real him**, facade aside, in his last moments of abstraction, embracing each other packed a very touching, gut wrenching, & humanizing end for their overlapping character arcs. They needed each other, but didn’t take the initiative to lean on each other until it was too late.** It gutted me.** I can honestly say *soooooooooo much more *& probably will when my thoughts are more coherent, but it’s nearing 5am & I’ve been writing this review for almost 3 hours atp (I’m notoriously scatterbrained) Just know, I enjoyed the finale. & will **forever** **claim** my title as a #jaxapologist 💔 Jax. I LOVE YOU,I LOVE YOU,I LOVE YOU, my sweet,sweet misunderstood angel, watching his relationships with Ribbit & Kaufmo play out actually made me feel sick to my stomach.. I can’t get into it right now but I understood his fear. That fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of peoples potential newfound perceptions of you…hit a little too close to home. But now I MUST go to bed.

This was cute. **MESSY** **AS HELL**. *but cute*. **also I will just always support Halle. That’s pookie princess.

***unlike anything I’ve **ever** experienced.* **Be CAREFUL what you wish for ***meets, there’s **power** in the tongue.* * * Last night I had the privilege of seeing this in theaters, & it genuinely floored me. I consider myself a devout horror fan, there’s not many horror movies that manage to get a visceral reaction out of me—but *this* was different. > I found myself completely bound to the screen. From start to finish, I was held captive, too petrified to look away & miss out on something, but also unsettled to my core, I had to restrain myself to keep watching. it was ***utterly nauseating***. ***Bear **-Now I’ve been seeing a lot of discourse about his character, if he “deserved” what happened, & people villainizing him…*as much as I hate EVER sticking up for a man*, (especially a cishet white man) *& while he is definitely flawed*..I found his character incredibly interesting. ****Obviously oblivious, shy, & reserved with a very grounding sense of potentially lacking self worth & the mediocrity of being well in your 20 something’s***, I find Bear to be quite human. > He took a chance in the metaphysically unknown, (modeled immediately after his own self-imposed failure) not knowing his words held so much power. It’s to a certain extent *childlike naivety* but also wrapped into that “***I’m such a loser***” & “***it’s a long shot***” never thinking for a second that *all* of this could’ve been avoided if he just had enough of a backbone in explaining what he wants. He ignores all of Nikki’s red flags after making the wish, & consistently lives in delusion to uplift his own self worth & revels at the idea of his crush liking him back..the scene after Ian calls at the restaurant & explains Nikki’s been lying—to that immediate cut scene to them being intimate,** I felt sick**. Yet overall it’s weird because while I know some of his actions are irredeemable, I can’t help but find him to have so much *nuance, & complexity*. This is my red flag 100%. I will always love complex characters in media, & for that I’m insufferable, **sorry**. *Nikki *-*Oh my heart breaks for Nikki. Truly.* Completely stripped of her individuality & freedom. Bound & tethered to Bear, without choice, & only direction. Left with nothing but the shell of herself, & a sliver of her conscience; ***it’s tragic***. It reminds me so much of “***Jennifer’s Body***” in that way—how both women were pawns in others self serving manifestations, stripped of their humanity, & in the end FUCKS shit up beyond repair. Nikki loses her identity within bear, her entire existence begins to attach itself to him..she’s nothing outside of him. ***A twisted lovesick puppy,*** *his plaything.* Of course we can imagine that Bear thinks it’s love (at first), but as viewers we know (their dynamic) it’s bondage. > I found the scenes of her fighting back & flipping within her own body to be some of the best acting I’ve seen in a while. She has no control, just existing as a passenger while this, *manifestation-turned-borderline-entity*, inhabits her. In the scene of Bear going to work as she waited there, in the same spot, with the same facial expression for what felt like centuries (*I got flashbacks to the final 8 minute monologue from Mia Goth’s, **PEARL**) like “cmonnn Inde [**Nikki**] I see you reheating pearl’s nachos”.. I was enamored by her unwavering devotion. It was unlike anything I’ve seen—she felt soulless. Empty. (BPD GIRLS [me] GON HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS ONE) *I can confidently say the performances from *both* our lead actors was *terrifying & gut wrenching.* Just know all of this to say this was one of the most, *daunting & sickly, stress inducing* films I have ever seen. It will have a lasting effect on me, & I AM **DYINGGGGGGG** to see this again. The biggest plot twist of this for me, is the title being truly how I feel about it after watching. **I’m obsessed**. #profile