Moonlight

Moonlight! This film will always destroy me. I got to watch it in cinema with my partner at the time, for Queer month in Amsterdam. I don’t know if it needs context but I’ll add it. I’m a straight man and she’s Bi. It was her first time watching the film and my second. The scene in the third act, where “Black” is talking to his mother in rehab and she says “I messed up. I fucked it all the way up. I know that. But yo’ heart ain’t gotta be black like mine. I love you, Chiron. I do. You ain’t gotta love me because god knows I didn’t love you when you needed it. I know that. So you ain’t gotta love me. But you’re gonna know I love you.” I was continuously sobbing in my partners arms until the rest of the film and other than the fact that it’s an incredibly sad scene, I’m not sure why it touched me as much as it did. It wasn’t until a couple months later when I was studying film aboard in Japan, away from my partner, that I made a connection to that scene. I cheated on and betrayed my partner. Though my love never wavered, all it took was a stupid, horny, tired man who wasn’t thinking of anything but himself in that moment. We don’t talk now and I gave her so many reason to feel hate. I’ll never forgive myself so now those words and that scene will hang like a tear on my soul forever. This film has an immense personal connection for me and thus it has a special place in my heart