Clonelisation

Atrocious. Garbage. The anti-christ. Call it what you will, there is no single word that could incapsulate the failings of such a piece. I knew just by the title 'Clonelisation' that i would be for a 'film'(if you could call it that) that would showcase every possible mistake a wannabe filmmaker like Xavier McLean could make. Clonelisation isnt even a word. That was the first mistake. The plot is so derivative i almost want to give benefit of the doubt and say that its derivative nature is symbolic of the films content, but based on all other aspects, i dont think McLean is competent enough for that much thought. The story is riddled with plot holes and inaccurqcies that elimanate any ahred of crediblity this film could have garnered (which isnt much). 3D printers dont work like that. Dialogue is bland and lifeless, which isnt helped by McLeans 'acting', but i guess its tough trying to juggle all characters and directing because no one else wanted to work on the film. And why would they? The lighting tries to fool you with its hypnotic colours into thinking this is a high art, but after a second of thought its easy to see though it as nothing but a pretenious attenpt at seeming half decent. Its inconsistent. Its too dark in the wrong areas. And worst of all, it just looks shit. Production design was clearly an afterthought. The kind of afterthought made by someone who thinks their too good for a little set design and makeup. Camera work is messy, with little effort for shot composition. Blocking is critical for films with a cast of this size, and for McLean, was the final nail in the coffin for poor visuals. Editing does no favours and instead highlights all the wrongdoings amongst the film. Effects are clearly the work of someone who only just learned of Adobe After Effects, and thought they could already make the next Avatar. News flash: you cant, Xav. Sound and music are basic and soulless, like the kind of sound you'd find on free sound websites like freesound.com. The dialogue mixing is a dumpster fire, full of inconsistency and poor quality. The credits reek of pretension and lack of self-awareness. We get it. Xavier McLean made this. The worst offender is the 'striptease' in the credits. This is a dangerous stunt and should not be celebrated. It is stupid stuff like that that can give people aids. Calling Xavier McLean a filmmaker is an insult to artists like Scorsese or Wes Anderson. Calling him a hack filmmaker is a bigger insult to sellouts like JJ Abrams and Uwe Boll. Xavier McLean, more Xavier MDirty. Clonelisation, more like I-wanna-rip-my-brain-out-lisation. I would give this negative 5 stars if I could, so I'll just settle for half of one.

Atrocious. Garbage. The anti-christ. Call it what you will, there is no single word that could incapsulate the failings of such a piece. I knew just by the title 'Clonelisation' that i would be for a 'film'(if you could call it that) that would showcase every possible mistake a wannabe filmmaker like Xavier McLean could make. Clonelisation isnt even a word. That was the first mistake. The plot is so derivative i almost want to give benefit of the doubt and say that its derivative nature is symbolic of the films content, but based on all other aspects, i dont think McLean is competent enough for that much thought. The story is riddled with plot holes and inaccurqcies that elimanate any ahred of crediblity this film could have garnered (which isnt much). 3D printers dont work like that. Dialogue is bland and lifeless, which isnt helped by McLeans 'acting', but i guess its tough trying to juggle all characters and directing because no one else wanted to work on the film. And why would they? The lighting tries to fool you with its hypnotic colours into thinking this is a high art, but after a second of thought its easy to see though it as nothing but a pretenious attenpt at seeming half decent. Its inconsistent. Its too dark in the wrong areas. And worst of all, it just looks shit. Production design was clearly an afterthought. The kind of afterthought made by someone who thinks their too good for a little set design and makeup. Camera work is messy, with little effort for shot composition. Blocking is critical for films with a cast of this size, and for McLean, was the final nail in the coffin for poor visuals. Editing does no favours and instead highlights all the wrongdoings amongst the film. Effects are clearly the work of someone who only just learned of Adobe After Effects, and thought they could already make the next Avatar. News flash: you cant, Xav. Sound and music are basic and soulless, like the kind of sound you'd find on free sound websites like freesound.com. The dialogue mixing is a dumpster fire, full of inconsistency and poor quality. The credits reek of pretension and lack of self-awareness. We get it. Xavier McLean made this. The worst offender is the 'striptease' in the credits. This is a dangerous stunt and should not be celebrated. It is stupid stuff like that that can give people aids. Calling Xavier McLean a filmmaker is an insult to artists like Scorsese or Wes Anderson. Calling him a hack filmmaker is a bigger insult to sellouts like JJ Abrams and Uwe Boll. Xavier McLean, more Xavier MDirty. Clonelisation, more like I-wanna-rip-my-brain-out-lisation. I would give this negative 5 stars if I could, so I'll just settle for half of one.