First Reformed

Something about Toller showing off the souvenir shop feels so empty. I love all the foreshadowing in the first long conversation between Toller and the husband with the knowledge of Tollers arc. I do believe that Toller dies in the end. I think the final shot is either just a mere vision or his first shot at heaven. The “leaning” in the background of that scene has been in my head rent free since I first saw this.  I find this whole plot so unbelievably interesting because you could easily be going the way of the faith of the priest himself or you could make this full on about the moral consequence of sheer laziness or even what the movie sorta does which is the existential horror of how god created humanity and the world we inhabit but we also destroy it. Toller throughout the movie grapples with his mind about how we can ignorantly live in bliss while knowing that we did nothing to stop the world from its impending demise.  However, even as he tries to make do with himself and the lord and attempts to advocate for the world, he still has his own problems. He’s doing so much for the big picture that he forgets to care for himself. As he deals with the cancer, he refuses to acknowledge the hole he’s in so he drinks. He drinks until he forgets about his sorrows. He’s a good man for the world but he’s also a terrible man for himself. I found Ed Balq to be less of a person and more so a mirror into reality. A reminder that while we all have good intentions, we tend to succumb to greed and power.