Arrival

I watched the end of this again, in class, and I cried again. I was the only one who cried out of about 10 people, and I think I've figured out why it got me. It's because she's happy despite knowing it won't last. Ian enters the room and she's looking so scared behind all of it, but then she dances and hugs him and her wide eyes say, "What am I getting myself into?" but she's surefire in her decision, and she closes her eyes, knowing what's going to happen, because she has this now, so she'll have it forever. That's when the tears came. Almost everyone in my class thought she shouldn't have had Hannah, and my self-important ass would like to think of it as a sign of maturity that I disagree. Losing people is better than never having them. Louise having those precious moments in the sunlight with Hannah is worth more than anything. I need to rewatch it by myself so I can sob. When I watched it with my mother she came over to me at the end and hugged me and we sat wiping our tears and knowing exactly what the other was thinking: If I were Hannah, she'd have done the same thing as Louise.  On the Nature of Daylight has been stuck in my head for the past hour and I can't stop thinking about Louise dancing: embracing and welcoming this wholeheartedly while the violin plays. Hannah is her daylight. I don't know how I'll get ever over this.