Marvel Zombies

All bark no bite It looks cool and cool shit happens But my god is this story so nonsensical that it’s hard for me to watch. Normally if it’s a stupid show I can turn my brain off but I can only take so much stupid shit before I start to get overwhelmed and it begins to genuinely affect my viewing experience. And all this bizarre wacky bullshit they do in order to justify the cool shit we see just isn’t enough for me. Normally if I saw a zombie thor fighting an infinity hulk I’d lose my mind, but the circumstances to make this fight happen were so upsettingly stupid that I felt like I was just watching two action figures smash into each other. Every aspect of the writing of this story is garbage. The dialogue is awful. The characters are hollow. The story’s timeline doesn’t even make sense!!  This also feels like an extended what if episode, which I mean yeah that’s basically what it is, but I was really hoping for something new. My biggest issue with what if is that every episode played out the same. A usually somewhat interesting concept that ended up boiling down to taking a character you were familiar with in a new scenario where they end up saying and doing the things they do in the movie but now in a different context. It was stupid. The show treated regular ass lines from the movies like it was that characters catch phrase. And they did the same fucking thing here and oh my god it’s so stupid. They also put such a big highlight on side characters that no one gives a fuck about. Like I’m sorry I love Jimmy Woo, but why is he here? It serves for a five second hey it’s Jimmy woo the magician! And then ends up being distracting for the rest of the episode. And like if you’re going to do an alternate dimension, get weird with it but in a way that feels right for these characters. The best way I can describe it is look at Moon Blade. It’s a cool idea for an alternate universe because it builds upon the character of blade in a way we won’t get to see in the main timeline and it fits him to be a host for khonshu. And then look at floating antman head. It’s just Paul Rudd making jokes. That’s not an addition to the character, it’s actually just stripping down the character to just his quips, which is unnecessary when you’re on a team with spiderman  Also, maybe an unpopular opinion, but I’m sick of evil Wanda. At this point it’s on the same level for me as evil Superman. I’ve seen it in wandavision, I’ve seen it in age of ultron, I’ve seen it in what if, I’ve seen it in multiverse of madness, I’ve seen it in fan edits. I’m over it. I don’t want to see it done anymore it’s the same shit every time and it’s boring because her powers just make it so you can’t win? And normally giving the heroes an impossible task is what makes the story interesting but here it just makes it feel annoying because no matter what they do she can just erase it. Like okay sure. Feels like when you go to get your friend in tag and they yell timeout and then say they don’t want to play anymore. Like okay fuck you?  Whatever, there was some cool shit in here but actually having to pay attention to this was grueling and that’s frustrating because it’s a stupid show that I should just be able to turn my brain off and watch.