Barbie

i’m like a weird hybrid of gay weird barbie and alan okay now for the cringe part of my review where i dump my emotions. this movie is excellent but also so fucking hard for me personally. i love and i hate being nonbinary and i’ve never been more “me” but i’m still so intertwined with girlhood and it’s inescapable and i don’t know how i really feel about it. i think i appreciate it and wouldn’t change or erase who i was but it’s also so fucking hard. i related to alan so hard because i think he perfectly characterizes being nonbinary. he doesn’t really fit in with the men or the women. he’s “part of the girls” but he’s not one of them and everything he does is just a little awkward and out of step with everyone else. he’s the only one; there are no multiples of alan. he has to remind everyone that he’s also someone who exists and i imagine that if he’s anything like me, he kinda cringes inside every time because it sucks to be like “me me me i exist tooooo!” when all you’re doing is trying to be visible. it’s lonely and isolating, even with a support system.  but i don’t want to make this all about me because this movie is primarily about women, but also i still experience misogyny and again, will be deeply intertwined with the experiences of girlhood and womanhood regardless. i don’t really know how to process those feelings but anyways i’m yapping and i’m ending this review here if you actually read this congratulations