Parachute

hated myself a little too much today so i should have watch someone feel the same as me so i wouldn't kill myself it sucks to live in that body. i can't get out of it, i can't do anything with it without hurting myself. i think that i almost healed, but this thoughts, they never truly go away and somedays i feel like i'm stuck in the spiral of it and my feelings are boiling inside and i feel like i'm gonna blow. "i wanna be ok with me" "-and do you wanna get better? -yeah..i do." - it takes her a time to answer this question. because a part of you wanna be sick, ypu want people to notice how bad you are, but at the same time you don't. you are scared to be even more disgusting if you're gonna start to get better. this remind me of dream that i have many years ago: i was at the mental hospital and therapist asked me: "do you wanna be healthy?"(it was about my ed), and i said "no". i often think about it. the ending + the song still makes me feel sad felt too personal to write on my native language