Mirrored Mind

“i’m looking for the placethe spirit meets the skincan’t figure out why that place feels so hard to be inwe’re all of us at this ill-fitting partybusy pretending to relateand it’s getting harder and harder to fakeacting like everything’s in its place”- Living Room, Grouper “What separates the one coming back from the one going?” rain. im falling. losing myself and drowning under the lake of my own sorrows / solitude. no one’s swam here but me, and maybe it’d be good to keep it that way. i see reflections of my past, present, and future (or lack thereof) down here. every wave to ever rise comes up and takes me over. i see a faint glimpse of everything fading into you. i see you and a brighter summer day waving in the distance — but it all looks like plastic. all of it’s here, but i have no way of knowing if it’s real. the opportunities, you, everything. sometimes i wonder if there’s a world outside of the one in myself, if it’s worth even looking out for it. if it’s worth looking for anything at all. there’s a sort of numbness muffling everything here. i need you to translate all the colors that i can’t see. i need you more than ever, to tell me what you’ve seen. tell me if it was / is all real. tell me if there’s something beautiful waiting for me, you, everyone. tell me the hole doesn’t go deeper than how it feels. tell me how to float. tell me i’m not just speaking to a mirror right now — you look up, and the tide is way out. the clouds break up.